HOT WATERS

Someone had the nerve to throw a bucket of hot water on our dogs. Yeah. Imagine my horror when my brother greeted me a rather somber expression when I woke up.

"Ate, tingnan mo si Chummy." (Sis, go check out Chummy.) I suddenly felt scared, wondering what's worst could I see. Upon chccking out our backyard, lo and behold, my dog whimpering. It's not what caught my eye, but the large patches of burnt skin on her left side of the body. I can't imagine posting a photo of her, despite wanting to, just to show you how cruel sight it was. I panicked, so much, I don't know what to do first. I didn't take a bath, sent text messages to my dad and to a friend who has vehicle, hoping she'll take me to the clinic fast. Sadly, she's not replying yet and my dad wanted us to take Chummy after church service. No way, no way will I let Chummy wait with blood oozing from the burnt patch of skin. Writing this provokes me to cry, it's so painful seeing that in your dog, seeing how much pain she's going through. Her mother Res is unusually loud, barking, trying to get our attention. My brother thought she was just hungry, but they were already fed last night, and I though they're full. But I think, she's also panicking for her daughter and probably trying to tell me via dog language... that something bad indeed happened.

So, I hurriedly asked my brother to fetch a tricycle so that I can travel faster to the nearest veterinary clinic. The assistant and the two customers who were there were surprised when they see me carrying my dog, seeing those burnt patches all over her left body. Yeah, I can feel for them, what more me who is a family. She felt so weak in my arms, cozying up closer to me as I placed her on the clinic desk. I'm proud she got the injections without so much fuss but it still pains me to see she's really not enjoying it. The sight of her in that condition strikes a nerve, I just want to get out and take revenge to whoever did this to her. Although I haven't been that hands-on in taking care of her, since I'm not always at home, she's still close to my heart. I've wanted to take care of her myself back in college, but the apartment where I'm in has rules, so I had to take her back home.

I hope other dogs won't have this fate like my dog. How I wish I could catch whoever is the culprit behind this. My dog is not even prowling around the community, she's just in the lot behind our house, around close perimeter. So why the heck? What is that person's problem to even THINK of throwing that boiling water over our dogs. No way is that accidental, no way! I have an idea who that person could be, but I don't want to fall into false accusation. I just let it all to God and prayed for our dogs' recover, especially Chummy.

P.S.

It's BOILING WATER. No way will that happen if it's just plain warm water. My dog's freaking burnt. It's like she got burnt by fire. Karma's a bitch, but I'll just let life take its toll on whoever that culprit is, whatever his/her punishment will be for such cruel action.

what the heck?

2010 is not a good year for me.
Okay, not being pessimistic or anything.
I meant to say, the first quarter of this year is not good.

I am in this small thread, hanging on to it.
My future's blank.
My present's staggered.

I am so lost.
I don't know what to do.
Or what would happen to me.

I hate it.
I am hating it.

I just wanna burrow myself in a hole and cry.

INHIBITOR

I wanted to graduate this April 2010.
My parents are expecting it, since I was supposed to graduate last year.

I have plans already.
I am waiting for results of my medical application.
And now this?

THIS came along and it's threatening my future to fall down.

I've been trying to graduate this year, but ...

A huge obstacle planted on my way and it's forcing me to stop.
It's like a LARGE INHIBITOR preventing me to push through and succeed.

I am so pissed off.
Not only on THIS but on HIM.

Seriously, I am not alone for feeling this.
Almost all my fellow graduates who are under his wing this semester are crying out their frustrations.

We're all in pain.
We're suffering in his hands.

And, now, the big news will be unfolded tomorrow.
I am scared. I am terrified.

But, I'm holding on to God..to the prayers..to the support of people who understand and are genuinely concerned for our fates.

I have to trust the Higher Being.
Come what may.

when the world goes tumbling down...

I don't want to say that life is unfair.
But it hurts so bad when you see your dreams slowly crumbling in front of you.
I don't want to lose hope, but the faith in me is gradually dying..

I am so lost right now, so down that I just want to spend my afternoon crying my heart out.
I am so disappointed in myself.
I am so ashamed.
I am so heartbroken.

I just needed my parents' embrace right now, I am so sad, so sad that I can't stop the tears from falling.
I feel like my future's getting darker and I can't seem to reach that light anymore.

Would I be drowned in darkness?
Would I tread on the path of failure from now on?

I don't know.
Oh dear God, give me strength.
Help me.
Please.

nocturnal + tummy aches

I am having a weird diagnosis.

Nocturnal syndrome.

Recurring tummy aches.

I haven't gone to a doctor yet.

I think my nocturnal syndrome is driven by my insomniac nature?

I am having a hard time sleeping.

And, I always have this tummy aches, as if a reminder of my ulcer-induced days.

I don't want to return to those painful days.

So, hopefully, I get better from this.

Sighs.

painful dream

I had this dream, a very disturbing dream for me. It started with what I did, which I actually can’t remember clearly anymore.
Stealthily went to a house to get something.
It was as if the scene was movie-directed and I was supposed to get something without the knowledge of my parents.
Running away afterwards. I was with someone who helped me find a place to stay for the night.
The place was set in LB actually. We cannot go to my apartment thinking my father will go straight to that place.
The “girl” who helped me took me to someone’s apartment [Conrad] so we went there.
But the next scene changed to going back to the apartment (I think) then to that apartment of my friend again. And there was so many people already.
People I know. People who are dearest to me. HS batchmates. LCD 1 friends. Some orgmates. Some college friends.
They were against me, actually.
There was a scene that Dada and I lashed at each other. Then Pipo came beside me, held my face and said “Do you know farming? You haven’t crossed the mountain yet.”
Sounded weird and confusing but I think it has a ring into it.
The time I woke up I started crying.
My heart was so troubled. My chest was so heavy I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
The entire dream conveyed my biggest fear – losing everyone I love and cherished the most. Not from death, but losing them in the essence of walking away from me. Being truly madly at me.
Sighs.
Painful.

The saddest and painful part of it all.
No one even stood up for me that time.
Just this girl whom I can't clearly remember who helped me find a place to stay but she disappeared in the scene afterwards.
So, in short, no one actually cared?

Bum.

Prayers to all victims of Ondoy

The typhoon Ondoy has caused a massive impact to the Philippines, especially in Metro Manila and regions of Marikina, Quezon and Rizal. In just a matter of time, people, animals, appliances and vehicles were all washed away by the raging rainstorm.


(www.timesonline.co.uk)


(news.xinhuanet.com)


(www8.gmanews.tv)

There were so many casualties, so many people who needed assistance, not only financially, but through supplies of food, water and clothing. On that fateful day that Ondoy poured its way into our lives, many were left in despair, anguish and pain. There were sacrifices made, like the story of Mr. Magallanes (May his spirit rest in peace.) who had saved more than 30 people during the rampaging storm and water current.

See this link for more details:http://www.theage.com.au/world/philippine-man-loses-own-life-after-saving-dozens-from-floods-20090928-g8o4.html">

Gratitude is what I'm feeling right now that my family is safe, we haven't experienced that much, but my heart reaches our for those who weren't that fortunate. Human is never that strong enough to withstand the power of nature, amidst studying science, calamities for how long history can tell. This helps us to be more wary, more prepared and conscious of our actions towards Mother Nature. We can never predict accurately when or how storms, landslides or tsunami will hit our country. All we have to battle them with is good preparation.

But right now, let's all work together. Through different means, let us extend whatever help we can give, may it be through walk-in donations, pledges or prayers. These victims need them. Let us give them the reason not to give up on living.

As the song goes, "The Lord's our Rock, in Him we hide, a shelter in the time of storm ..". Keep on trustin' and believing. Everything happens for a reason.


(http://carnageandculture.blogspot.com)

*For more inquires, you can visit the following sites:

http://www.google.com/landing/typhoon-ondoy.html
http://www.redcross.org.ph/Site/PNRC/wtd.aspx


(I apologize if the picture is shown incomplete)

why did you have to hurt me so?

I AM A BIT PISSED OFF.

I CAN'T HELP IT. I HAD TO LET IT OUT.

I CAN FEEL TEARS ON MY FACE.

IS IT WRONG TO DECLINE FROM SOMETHING THEY KNOW I'M NOT USED TO DOING?

OKAY. THE FACT THAT I AM DRINKING HAS BEEN LET OUT. BUT HEY, I'M JUST A BEGINNER.

I DON'T DRINK THAT MUCH TOO.

SO I HOPE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND IF I HAVE THE NERVE TO DECLINE AN OFFER.

ESPECIALLY AT TIMES THAT I CAN'T AFFORD GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING A HANGOVER THE NEXT

DAY.

OKAY. THANKS FOR THE OFFER. THANKS FOR THE THOUGHT OF INVITING ME OVER, THINKING THAT I COULD HAVE BEEN FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF FOR NOT BEING INVITED.

BUT I TOLD YOU. IT'S OKAY. I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS OF GOING OUT. I HAVE STUFF TO DO. YEAH, I KNOW I NEED TO RELAX, BUT ALCOHOL WON'T BE IN THE LIST.

I SUPPOSED YOU SHOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD BETTER. YOU'RE A FRIEND. I KNOW IT WAS JUST A JOKE WHEN YOU SHOUTED 'FOUL' WORDS ON ME, BUT STILL THAT HURTS.

THAT ONLY PUSHES ME FAR FROM THE CROWD WHERE YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN. I DON'T WANT. AND I DON'T FORCE MYSELF INTO YOUR GROUP. SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND.

SIGHS.

I JUST FEEL SO DOWN AFTER. THERE ISN'T ANY BETTER WAY TO HURT ME LIKE YOU DID.