of first year in med

It was fun and toxic at the same time.
FUN, because I get to spend time with cozy people and the section I got to be included in are all nice people.
I mean, they're approachable despite that most of them are really "geniuses in their own rights", they are still "approachable".
TOXIC, because it's not as light as undergraduate studies...you are responsible of whatever's discussed and NOT discussed.
No more distinct spoon-feeding, well, aside from few of the professors, but mainly, you have to be always prepared for the worst.
Thankfully, I have good background of the subjects I am taking now, from my BS Biology days, esp. from my Major subjects.
Well, honestly, I can go with the flow but I am not THAT fast to explain stuff, unlike my other classmates (mostly guys).
Yung tipong pagtanong mo, kaya nilang mabigyan kaagad ng sagot.
It makes me feel inferior or somewhat stupid, in a sense.
But I still strive to know what they know, to know more than what they know, or to know more together with them.
I'm not up fo a competition, I'm in the medschool to learn and to be a good doctor for the sake of my future patients.

I don't want to be pressured just because I should not "taint" my family's name.
I will study well for my future, for my chosen career and for the big dreams I only dreamt childishly before.

where?

I still have no medical school to go to this coming June.
Where does God want me to be?
I have not been accepted in both PLM and UERM.
And now, I have to send in late my application for FEU.
Sighs.
I can't stop feeling lost, upset and scared.
But I will still hold on to the Higher Being.
He has been with me through all this.
He has helped me fight against the roundabout tumblings I've encountered this last sem.
He has let me graduate soon this April.
With that, I'll trust Him completely.

And soon, I will find the answer.
Where?

COming sooooooon!

nocturnal + tummy aches

I am having a weird diagnosis.

Nocturnal syndrome.

Recurring tummy aches.

I haven't gone to a doctor yet.

I think my nocturnal syndrome is driven by my insomniac nature?

I am having a hard time sleeping.

And, I always have this tummy aches, as if a reminder of my ulcer-induced days.

I don't want to return to those painful days.

So, hopefully, I get better from this.

Sighs.

doctor, doctor

I discovered this manga [HELP!!]which, honestly, reminded me of my "dream". Yep, it's a story of a girl wanting to become a doctor. Of course, the manga also included a whisp of romance and comedy. But still, the bottomline is, the theme is studying to become a doctor, dream to become a GOOD DOCTOR.

O well, I am inspired and reading this manga made me feel excited at the same time wary and bit scared. Nevertheless, it's a good break.

Hopefully, I can be a good doctor soon!

Salute Graduates!

It's the March-April season once again, and that means Graduation fever has swept over the nation. It would have swept me off my feet too if I am one of the graduates to march in the UPLB Freedom Park. But sadly, I am not YET graduating for the year. Well, hopefully next year you'll hear the GOOD NEWS from me. Right now, I'll just be focusing on taking up the remaining 15 units left in my course. And by October, I'm done. Yes, I really hope that I'll be done by that time.

My friends, high school batchmates and fellow Biology students back in UPLB are on their way to wearing their toga this late April and accept their diplomas. I am so happy for them. I'm regretting a bit that I haven't performed well and isn't graduating on time, but I'm just thinking there's a purpose. And people do mistakes, that's how they learn and grow. My dreams never falter, even if I am not graduating on time. I'll still be pursuing Medicine and years from now, I will be a successful doctor, no matter what.

So that means, student still for the next 5-6 years. Yeah, I know, some say it is tiring, but I don't care. I am passionate to be a doctor. That's why I'm composing myself to do better. Not to repeat the same mistake again. Then, one day, I'll graduate ON TIME and a doctor-to-be. That will be the BEST-est NEWS ever.

I know my parents will be soooo glad. And so am I.

But for now, CONGRATULATIONS to the GRADUATES of year 2009! God bless. . . =)

to be or not to be

I took up BS Biology because it will be my stepping stone to take up Medicine in the near future. So why did I choose to be a doctor someday? Is it influenced by friends or by my parents? Or is it my own decision to be one?

Actually, I have so many dreams when I was young. This includes becoming a teacher, lawyer. broadcaster, writer, VJ, DJ . . .everything I saw myself enjoying to do. But then again, you can't do everything at once. My father told me - I have to be someone who can help other people, specifically to serve God. That's when I decided to focus on taking the path towards becoming a doctor. The dream became more intense with the death of my grandmother, to whom I promised that I will build a clinic on her province. and practice my medical expertise someday.

I have this history of low self-esteem. Yes, I can perform live onstage, be an emcee of a certain program back in my high school days and even do a monologue or oration in front of a large audience. But beyond that, I am not truly confident. I easily doubt my own capabilities, especially now that I have already tumbled down in my undergraduate college life. Failing two subjects causing a delay in graduating on time made me think. Am I still up to be a doctor?

People who know me says I am intelligent, meant to be a doctor. Personally, I felt otherwise. I am not intelligent, maybe I am just hardworking. But lately, I'm losing in touch with my study ethics. Maybe, Medicine is not for me. Being a doctor is not for me. These thoughts pop in a little while in my reverie. Should other people be the one pushing me to reach the top? NO. I have to get myself up and working.

Yes. Becoming a doctor is my dream and not just a simple dream. It encompasses my desire to be successful and to be helpful; and my willingness to learn more in life. It doesn't matter now if I have failed two subjects. I may not be a topnotcher right now but I firmly believe I can still be. It only takes the heart and mind to conquer even the hardest dreams in life.

To be or not to be a doctor? I should say, I WILL BE.