Friday, January 23, 2009

to be or not to be

I took up BS Biology because it will be my stepping stone to take up Medicine in the near future. So why did I choose to be a doctor someday? Is it influenced by friends or by my parents? Or is it my own decision to be one?

Actually, I have so many dreams when I was young. This includes becoming a teacher, lawyer. broadcaster, writer, VJ, DJ . . .everything I saw myself enjoying to do. But then again, you can't do everything at once. My father told me - I have to be someone who can help other people, specifically to serve God. That's when I decided to focus on taking the path towards becoming a doctor. The dream became more intense with the death of my grandmother, to whom I promised that I will build a clinic on her province. and practice my medical expertise someday.

I have this history of low self-esteem. Yes, I can perform live onstage, be an emcee of a certain program back in my high school days and even do a monologue or oration in front of a large audience. But beyond that, I am not truly confident. I easily doubt my own capabilities, especially now that I have already tumbled down in my undergraduate college life. Failing two subjects causing a delay in graduating on time made me think. Am I still up to be a doctor?

People who know me says I am intelligent, meant to be a doctor. Personally, I felt otherwise. I am not intelligent, maybe I am just hardworking. But lately, I'm losing in touch with my study ethics. Maybe, Medicine is not for me. Being a doctor is not for me. These thoughts pop in a little while in my reverie. Should other people be the one pushing me to reach the top? NO. I have to get myself up and working.

Yes. Becoming a doctor is my dream and not just a simple dream. It encompasses my desire to be successful and to be helpful; and my willingness to learn more in life. It doesn't matter now if I have failed two subjects. I may not be a topnotcher right now but I firmly believe I can still be. It only takes the heart and mind to conquer even the hardest dreams in life.

To be or not to be a doctor? I should say, I WILL BE.

No comments: