to be or not to be

I took up BS Biology because it will be my stepping stone to take up Medicine in the near future. So why did I choose to be a doctor someday? Is it influenced by friends or by my parents? Or is it my own decision to be one?

Actually, I have so many dreams when I was young. This includes becoming a teacher, lawyer. broadcaster, writer, VJ, DJ . . .everything I saw myself enjoying to do. But then again, you can't do everything at once. My father told me - I have to be someone who can help other people, specifically to serve God. That's when I decided to focus on taking the path towards becoming a doctor. The dream became more intense with the death of my grandmother, to whom I promised that I will build a clinic on her province. and practice my medical expertise someday.

I have this history of low self-esteem. Yes, I can perform live onstage, be an emcee of a certain program back in my high school days and even do a monologue or oration in front of a large audience. But beyond that, I am not truly confident. I easily doubt my own capabilities, especially now that I have already tumbled down in my undergraduate college life. Failing two subjects causing a delay in graduating on time made me think. Am I still up to be a doctor?

People who know me says I am intelligent, meant to be a doctor. Personally, I felt otherwise. I am not intelligent, maybe I am just hardworking. But lately, I'm losing in touch with my study ethics. Maybe, Medicine is not for me. Being a doctor is not for me. These thoughts pop in a little while in my reverie. Should other people be the one pushing me to reach the top? NO. I have to get myself up and working.

Yes. Becoming a doctor is my dream and not just a simple dream. It encompasses my desire to be successful and to be helpful; and my willingness to learn more in life. It doesn't matter now if I have failed two subjects. I may not be a topnotcher right now but I firmly believe I can still be. It only takes the heart and mind to conquer even the hardest dreams in life.

To be or not to be a doctor? I should say, I WILL BE.

just messing around with "cute" icons

I decided to express myself now, not only through written words but also with fancy icons I linked from a friend's site. I think this will be fun. :)

...


Graphics for Myspace

I want to go to the beach - just a time to relax, away from the grueling hours of being a student. Yet, the cold weather I am currently experiencing does not seem to agree with my idea. So I just have to wait till summertime, I guess.



Free Myspace Graphics

I love to read books. I am a self-confessed avid bookworm. And I wish to buy a new set of books - I am thinking more of the suspense type, stories with a twist of crime investigation and romance. And to read a book under a tree sounds nice. But maybe, I'll opt in a cozier place like on my bed.


Comments for Myspace

I just have to let go of Chummy, my recent puppy. I mean, she will not be staying wit me back in the apartment any longer. I will miss her so much, after the efforts of training her and taking care of her. (sighs) I'm attached already.


Comments for Myspace

I love butterflies. I really do. But it will be so bad to catch them and lock them up in a jar just for my own enjoyment! I remember one time, I saw a blue butterfly and I was fascinated, I tried following it much to my delight!


Myspace Graphics

This one is uberly cute. I wish I could get a stuff toy just like this on my birthday! Yes, I'm nearing 20 already!!! Not a teen anymore, but still a kid at heart. Haha.

O well. Another blog next time....

too many stuff to think of. . .

I am the type of person who easily panic. And thanks to my imaginative mind, every time I close my eyes and try to sleep, so many images come to life. These images convey all my pent-up thoughts and emotions - thinking of what has just happened and what could possibly happen in my life. This mostly happens when I think of too many stuff, like being one of the heads of our organization's medical mission this coming February.

I tend to freak out when things seem to go out of hand. Not literally freak out, but get to overwhelmed by fear that things might not be fixed anymore. i think it is because I am afraid of responsibility, especially if I think at once that I cannot handle it well. That is where the problem will start to unfold. I have been elected class president in my high school years and one of the student council organization officers of our school. I have been also the Publications Committee Head of our organization, back here in my college. Yet, I do think big but seemed my capabilities couldn't reach to fill up that BIGNESS of my plans. And when plans toppled down, my life turned for the worst. I feel down and literally not-so-confident anymore. I recline from taking up possible tasks thinking everything will just be wasted when I put my hands on it.

Now that I am a head of an event once more makes me wonder. Will I make it whole after this event? Will my co-heads pull it through, despite my "weak factor"? Whatever is the answer, I want to make it right this time. No more time for mistakes and freak-outs. Though I always had hard time sleeping, I still have to be positive. If not, these many stuff i am thinking off will blow my brains out. I do not want that to happen! I guess, I have to manage my time and efforts wisely. Good luck for me!

appreciate me more!

Being appreciated is the most wonderful thing for me. But it does not require drastic measures such as trophy or gifts or awards. A simple word of appreciation will do. Yet, in this world I lived in, appreciation is taken for granted. People I met think that appreciation is never needed as long as you get what you wanted. As long as everything goes well. In my case, I do not need constant murmurs of appreciation. I want to feel it as well. It does not matter if I do not hear it every time I do something for that person, just a small hint that he or she is grateful, that is already a heartwarming sensation for me.

In life, appreciation has helped a lot, in boosting one's self-esteem or encouraging one's dream. Acknowledging one's good efforts, may it be heroism or genuine help, gives a positive eye on gratitude. Gratitude is one value that we must bear in our heart and mind. Being thankful for what we have is contentment. And being contented is what gives more meaning to life. And life is much beautiful if we learn how to be appreciative. In every corner of our life, as we look back to the past, look forward in the future and dwell on the present, the gift of appreciation must be magnified. There is so much to appreciate - staying alive, having good health, meeting true friends and more. Why would we focus more on what we do not have when we could already be happy with what we have? And why would we cease to appreciate someone when we know he or she is worthy of being appreciated?

It is just a case of taking the lead - the initiative to open up your mouth and speak words of appreciation. What an effect it could do for someone! And what an effect it could do to you too! Now, it is year 2009, is it better to be more appreciative then? Why don't we start by saying how much we are thankful for those people who have been watching your back for the longest time? They may be your parents, grandparents or close friends. Stop for a while and say "Thank you". You'll never know what those words will do for them.

A million thanks for those who are reading and visiting my blog. Happy New Year!