Even if you want to stay friends, sometimes, you get overwhelmed and began falling for that person.
It's really so hard to leave a statement when you can never be sure of what will happen next in the days to come. When you thought you could never like that person, you'd end up thinking about him before you succumb to sleep. When you thought you will never like his personality, you'd end up appreciating every little detail of his likes and dislikes, to the extend of realizing you have similarities in the long run.
When you think you'd just be happy being friends with him, you'd crave for more... and more, until you'd never be so contented to have him look at you "just as a friend".
I am grateful that earlier this year, I was able to find my stable self, not as a hundred percent perfectly built, but this year, I've found a fresh new aura around me, in me, with me. I began anew with God, I dished off my principle of finding happiness through a man and vowed not to let a man rule over my heart and mind.
I learnt a valuable lesson of finding happiness and confidence first before even letting myself fall completely for a man.
And God is indeed a wonderful Father, for He guided me, His daughter to find a man, in a slow crucial step-by-step process. Indeed, when comparing to my last entry, I felt relieved that I haven't lost my focus nor my control. I didn't let selfish desires lead me to make rash decisions I will regret in the later years. I'm grateful I have friends who have been a supportive pillar, who helped me continually connect to that confidence I've gained for the past months... and I'm happy that God has been guiding me through and through.
Truly, prayers are miraculous answers to your silent inquiries and desires.
God works in mysterious ways, yet He enlightened you with answers as long as you're willing to understand and abide by His will.
It's not about what you want, but what God wants the best for you.
And I willingly surrendered my heart to God's gentle, reassuring hands, letting Him guide me to that man, if He intends to....
I already see him as the man for me, yet I can't yet be sure if I am completely in love with him.
I still want to stay humbly as his friend, gaining his trust and finding his companion a treasure I've never regret I've come to enjoy.
I am so happy he finally opened up to me, unlike those previous random conversations which mostly comprise of food, food... and yes, food.
Funny, but still I enjoyed those comical talks we had... but this past weekend, he finally told me more than FOOD... and in person.
Imagine the happiness and gratitude that swelled in my heart... yes, I am indeed happy.
It's true and I can say with confidence... though the past months have been slowly progressive... every second has been worth the wait.
And whatever God has plan for the next year to come, I'd be patiently waiting... as I've done for the past months.
Yes, I am slowly falling for him more and more.... but what's so good about it, I'm not alone... I've been gently guided by God's hands. <3 font="font">3>