Music is my escape from everything. Well, it used to be reading a romantic novel, all cuddled up in my bed, forgetting everything else around me. But since I get stuck up with reading nothing except medical books and transes, I seek refuge from the stress by listening to a song, may it be gospel or some cheesy love song. In the end, I always feel much better.
But actually, it's not merely music that drives me away from insanity. It's mostly God who speaks to me through those soulful lyrics, like from a favorite church hymn I sing. It is Him who transcends His voice in me through the wonderfully written lyrics that strengthen me each day. When I miss reading the Bible, I end up listening to music instead. The words give me divine inspiration and mostly, a warm guiding pat on my back.
True enough, I've been exposed to gospel music since time can tell. Actually, I grew up listening to them and just got exposed to secular music when I reached the sixth grade in elementary. I sing secular now, not to mention those K-pop faves of mine, but I also love gospel songs. And beyond that, I love composing songs.
The problem lies in not being "talented enough" to incorporate my composition with an instrument. So, what I mean to say, is I compose song right from scratch, my own lyrics with my own melody in an instant, without any guidance of a piano or guitar accompaniment. It would have been better if I can, too, so I'd be like Taylor Swift or something. I'm not into being a famous girl, I just want to have the chance to voice out my words in music. But despite that, it didn't stop me from composing with own capabilities.
Honestly, I feel so accomplished today. The other night, I was up late but ended up composing a gospel song. The lyrics are not originally written by me, but by David, author of the book of Psalms. Yes, my song is divinely inspired by the Bible. That moment felt surreal, the melody just came out of my voice and it's somehow overwhelming when I actually finished it. I am not a good singer so I'm so keen in having my church friend sing it for me. And when it happened this morning, it's beyond happiness. It's like my intimate connection with God just step up another notch, to be able to sing praises to Him. It's a gratifying pleasure, especially coming from me, who personally thinks I lack in so many things when it comes to communicating with Him.
Composing is one of my hobbies, aside from writing. It feels great when you think your works can have a chance to be voiced out, and in so doing, be used to glorify God. I want to be used by Him but I always end up being scared that I won't do okay.. that I will just fail in whatever mission He gives me.
But as my friend told me today, "this probably is one of God's purpose for me...". And yes, I'd gladly accept and will not second-thought of composing songs for Him and Him only.
By the way, I don't have any idea how to patent my original song and the songs to come. We like to come up with a collection so the songs can be sung by our district youth members as a choir one day. :)