I'm Coming Out

I am okay already, regarding the issue of the past entry. Although, I haven't personally open up the issue to the person involved, I decided it will be better put off in the past. I am used to her already, maybe I am just shocked to what happened. i forgive her. I forgive myself. I can yield to my emotions too fast.

On the other hand, it's already finals week. And I am fervently wishing that I won't be in the list of students who will be required to take a final exam in one of my major subjects. I accept my fate in Chemistry, since it's known, even beforehand that I will be taking that exam. Aside from that, it is a NO NO NO to other subjects.

I want to rest. I still haven't process the papers of my change of plan. I should be having Sp and BIO 101 this summer. The petition for the latter subject is not yet on the roll, so I am a bit nervous about that. I hope I managed to get them both registered this summer, that I can maximize the time for the remaining units this coming first semester.

O well, I am supposed to graduate this April but I am not on the list. Haha. I know, I am delayed, I still got 15 units more to cover before I can say I am officially donw with my undergraduate life. And the graduation march will most probably take place, next year. Oh yeah.

I haven't reviewed for NMAT and I can't help but get anxious about it. It is my first take but I wish I can garner a high percentile rank so that I don't need to take another this December. The fee is a bit expensive, so I'd rather do well in this first one. I really wish I can continue to Medicine next year. It has been my aspiration and flicker of hope to go on with my life. I want to be a doctor. Simple as it may sounds, but it is complicated, I know.

I need to rest so I have stop blabbering about stuff. Summer is kickin' in. And it is really getting hot, I wonder if I can manage to wear skimpy and light clothes this year? Haha. I wish.

why did you have to hurt me so?

I AM A BIT PISSED OFF.

I CAN'T HELP IT. I HAD TO LET IT OUT.

I CAN FEEL TEARS ON MY FACE.

IS IT WRONG TO DECLINE FROM SOMETHING THEY KNOW I'M NOT USED TO DOING?

OKAY. THE FACT THAT I AM DRINKING HAS BEEN LET OUT. BUT HEY, I'M JUST A BEGINNER.

I DON'T DRINK THAT MUCH TOO.

SO I HOPE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND IF I HAVE THE NERVE TO DECLINE AN OFFER.

ESPECIALLY AT TIMES THAT I CAN'T AFFORD GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING A HANGOVER THE NEXT

DAY.

OKAY. THANKS FOR THE OFFER. THANKS FOR THE THOUGHT OF INVITING ME OVER, THINKING THAT I COULD HAVE BEEN FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF FOR NOT BEING INVITED.

BUT I TOLD YOU. IT'S OKAY. I DON'T HAVE ANY PLANS OF GOING OUT. I HAVE STUFF TO DO. YEAH, I KNOW I NEED TO RELAX, BUT ALCOHOL WON'T BE IN THE LIST.

I SUPPOSED YOU SHOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD BETTER. YOU'RE A FRIEND. I KNOW IT WAS JUST A JOKE WHEN YOU SHOUTED 'FOUL' WORDS ON ME, BUT STILL THAT HURTS.

THAT ONLY PUSHES ME FAR FROM THE CROWD WHERE YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN. I DON'T WANT. AND I DON'T FORCE MYSELF INTO YOUR GROUP. SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND.

SIGHS.

I JUST FEEL SO DOWN AFTER. THERE ISN'T ANY BETTER WAY TO HURT ME LIKE YOU DID.

blah..blah..blah

What should I write?

I do not know what to talk about right now.

--
I have two exams this week. Same subject - Aquaculture.

It's the last day of medication for me tomorrow.

My body hurts. I do not know why, especially my behind. Sighs.

I just played badminton last Saturday night and when I woke up the next day, I can't walk properly.

I did some warm-up routines so I'm quite confused why my body is aching so much!

One last week of classes then finals week. And soon, it's break time from academics.

NMAT o9 is nearing and I'm not yet reviewing for it. Damn.

I think I'm not employed in the job I sought after for the past days. But at least I tried and gave it my best.
--

I believed my summer will be wonderful. I won't be excited lest it won't happen for me.

pag-ibig nga kaya??? (ano daw?!?!!?!)

This is actually an original blog entry from my Multiply Account. :)

(and in fairness, first ko atang entry dito na halos puro Tagalog, hehe)
--

(naisip ko ito habang tinatahak ng bus na sinasakyan ko ang kahabaan ng SLEX Hi-way)

--
Bakit mahirap umasa?

Dahil ba alam mong walang mararating ang pag-asam mo sa isang bagay?

O sadyang tanggap mo na hindi kailanman mapagbibigyan ang tangi mong hiling?

Hindi naman sa pagiging negatibo.

Pero, diba, pag alam mo namang hindi mapupunta sa'yo, bakit mo pa ipagpipilitan?

Kung alam mong hindi siya talaga para sa'yo, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ang sarili mo?

DI pa ba sapat ang iparamdam sa'yo na di ka kailangan?

Hindi masama mangarap, kung alam mong may patutunguhan ang pangarap mo.

Masakit ang umasa kung sa una palang, talo ka na.

Mas masakit kung nasa rurok ka na ng munti mong mga panaginip, para lang masilayan mo ang pagtulak sa'yo pabalik sa realidad.

Totoo naman kasi. If it's not meant for you, then it will never be.

Kaya ako, ayoko umasa. Ni isipin man lang na may pagkakataon, di ko magawa.

Alam ko namang walang kahahantungan ang gagawin ko.

Kung ano man ang gagawin ko, sa'kin na yun..

'The heart is indeed fragile. Once broken, it takes time to put back the pieces, but it can never be whole again.'

--
Di ako brokenhearted. Di ako heartbroken. Kung anumang tama sa dalawa.
Naisip ko lang bigla. Di kasi ako makatulog sa biyahe, masyadong malakas ang ihip ng hangin.

help me breathe!

Doctor: You are diagnosed with URTI.

I watched her as she wrote it in the medical certificate - upper respiratory tract infection. The same ailment I was diagnosed with the last time I came to be checked up. So what is really URTI? Is this a chronic disease that needs to be cured instantly or a common sickness prevailing among immunodeficient individuals?

The respiratory tract is the most common site for infection by pathogens. What are pathogens? Pathogens are famously known as germs that can cause disease or illness to the host. Although the human body's respiratory system houses normal flora organisms which are beneficial, there are still potential pathogens which invade the system and eventually trigger disease or ailment. Upper respiratory tract infections may result from this colonization of invasive and infectious agents. You can experience common cold, influenza and/or sore throat.

In my situation, I have (I'm writing at the same time I'm having URTI) sore throat and common cold. Common cold includes symptoms ranging from coughing, sneezing and runny nose that can also lead to congestion, headache and sore throat. Unfortunately, I am experiencing all. Yes. And that is not a good feeling, actually. It is difficult to fall asleep when you have a hard time breathing. It is an effort to study and read your notes when your head aches once in a while. And you can't even concentrate on something when you have to dash for a tissue or hanky to wipe your nose! But thankfully, I'm not yet doom to have flu symptoms since I do not have fever. If you are reading this and experiencing such, then continue reading...

Treatment for URTI is simple - plenty of rest and fluids. Drink water a lot. Tuck in your bed early and wear out those fatigue bones in your body. Take in the medicine prescribed by the doctor, but know that these over-the-counter drugs will not lessen the duration of infection. These will only give you a temporary relief from the pain that you're going through. Also, it is advisable to gargle lukewarm water with salt. I was prescribed to use Betadine gargle and despite the taste, I have to admit, it helps my sore throat issue. Whenever you feel symptoms of URTI, do not be afraid to consult your doctor. It is never that bad to be checked up once in a while.

Despite it all, an ounce of prevention is much better than a pound of cure. Make sure you get lots of rest and fluids. It is a much nicer feeling of being healthy and away from such illnesses.

Live a happy life - longer and healthier! =)

career orientation

INTELLECT: Scientist
EMOTIONS: Instructor
SKILLS: Nurturer
DYNAMISM: Grafter

Your Core Skills

You are a natural communicator with high levels of emotional intelligence and strong leadership skills. An analytical thinker with an innovative streak, you thrive at facilitating group discussions. You will work long and hard if you are inspired by a project.
Potential Areas Of Weakness

You have a tendency to value your own ideas over those of your colleagues and sometimes may need to work harder to make team members feel valued and involved. At the same time, you are very sensitive and sometimes take criticism personally. There is a chance that you become so involved in your work that personal organisation and time management suffer.
Areas You Might Want To Work On

* focus on developing your listening and empathy skills - this is a crucial part of being a good leader
* make a conscious effort to plan your time using structured personal management skills
* actively allow and welcome criticism

Careers That May Suit You

banker entrepreneur journalist business executive marketing account director
Your Detailed Personality Assessment

You have shown yourself to be a natural people-person and to have a real gift in bringing out the best in others. But have you asked yourself recently how much you are able to truly shine and grow in your everyday life at the moment? Satisfaction for you seems to lie in having positive enriching interactions with those around you. You are a strong communicator so make sure that you are communicating the best of yourself in order to achieve your dreams.

When it comes to leadership, empathy is your real forte. You are extremely supportive to your colleagues and able to bring out the best in them.

You have a strong sense of wonder and enchantment at the world around you. You probably get a kick out of blue sky brainstorming.

As far as you're concerned, hard work is the best way to achieve your goals. Short cuts to success are just a false economy. You tend to be quite traditional in your perspective and like to have a clear sense of your career milestones. You believe that effort should be rewarded and that if you put in the hours you'll reap the benefits. However that doesn't mean you always follow your own wisdom. It can be hard to maintain intense levels of focus all the time.

You seem to be in a bit of a hectic place in your life right now. There are lots of opportunities and things that you're interested in, but it's quite hard to know what to focus on. You could probably use a bit of guidance to help you channel your energies in the right way. It's not surprising you're feeling fraught. Work is taking over your life and it seems that things may be starting to get on top of you. You could really use some time and space to think.

The way you approach each day can have huge implications for your success in the workplace. Bouncing out of bed with a spring in your step doesn't exactly come naturally to you. You sometimes find it difficult to get moving in the mornings. It might be worth trying to reinvigorate your morning routine so that getting out of bed is more of a pleasure than a battle! That way you can face the day firing on all cylinders. If you haven't already, why not try exploring some evening relaxation techniques that might help you get the rest you need - whether it's yoga, a soak in the tub or even a full-on gym session. It could make all the difference.
The Future

You may still be a student but you're smart to be thinking ahead and checking out your career options. You're about to embark on a really exciting time in your life - and there's going to be lots of decisions to make that will shape your future. Life an feel like a bit of an endurance race sometimes. It's all about making sure that you have the stamina and commitment to go the distance. You seem to be quite pragmatic about the fact that work has its ups and downs, and this is a really healthy way to be, as long as this doesn't dampen your natural enthusiasm for life.

*Thanks to Youniverse.com

*Something to ponder about, something about what career should I take, where I'll be best suited in, and what kind of personality I am in a world of career.

REST is what I need.

I am so tired.

I just finished my term paper for Biomed.

And I have to do a powerpoint presentation for my report on the same paper.

My report is due this Tuesday.

Hell yeah.

I'm in for a tiring week.

Two exams this coming Friday.

I want to relax.

Oh, I remember! Good thing I went with my friends to stay in a resort the other night.

It was a relaxing night for me.

All I did is swim, swim swim. Oh and I also ate and then swim again. And also sang in the videoke.

I need another like that after this semester.

Tired. Tired. Tired.

My fingers are already numb from typing.

My back is sore from sitting upright.

My head is aching from thinking too much.

My eyes are getting blurrier than before from looking at my laptop's screen the whole day until now.

Rest is what I need.

I guess, I'll have to resort to dreaming.

I hope I will have a nice dream when I crawl into my bed later.

That will be sweet.

a letter of confusion

Dear Lala,
I don't really know how to tell you this,I'm selling myself for candy. I think I realized it When I quoted Forrest Gump In your car and I saw you Carve your initials into My salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're Middle-class enough to understand That your Ford sucks. I'm returning Your toe ring to you, but I'll keep Your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I Told my psychiatrist about the bruises and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.

Kiss my butt,
Noah

--

Weird isn't it? I discovered this in my friend's blog and I did what was instructed there - how to produce this kind of letter. It's fun :).

If you want and you're curious enough. Check the directions below.

Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Name

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

It's fun.

Got me smilin' afterwards.

And Lala is a friend, I don't think she'll be mad at this, though.

Initials

You Are Clever and Studious

When You Are Comfortable: You are philosophical and opinionated. You have quite a few pet causes, and you're always adopting a new one. People see you as clever and smart. You now a lot, and you love to talk about a variety of subjects. When You Are At Your Best: You are a carefree, adventurous person. You love excitement, and you enjoy being in a changing, dynamic environment. People find you to be funny, generous, and competent. You're well spoken, and you know how to wow people with your words. When You Are in a Social Setting: You are open-hearted and harmonious. You are a giving person, and you are always willing to listen to people. People find you to be incredibly kind, sympathetic, and loyal. You can always be counted on.

What Do Your Initials Say About You?

Swirling thoughts

-I'm now officially addicted to the songs 'Crush' and 'My life would suck without you' by David Archuleta and Kelly Clarkson, respectively.

-I will be trying to FINISH my term paper and my powerpoint presentation this weekend for my Biomed reporting (sighs).

-I missed swimming and I'm glad I accepted the invitation of my friends to go to a resort. I enjoyed it very much.

-I am confused. Someone's presence is confusing me and a disturbing "issue" is really disturbing me. In short, I'm not only confused, I'm also disturbed.

-I didn't go home this weekend AGAIN. I miss our home and my family and our dogs and my cats.

-I want to eat already. I am terribly hungry but I don't have food yet.

-I am starting another story and I hope by this time I get to finish this one. I have so many unfinished stories! (sighs)

-I am craving for some ice cream, pasta and pizza - yet I have to stop myself from indulging to my cravings and wasting too much money.

-I am feeling stupid for deleting one of the sent embryology files of my classmate in my email's inbox account. Now I have to tell my friend to re-send but I have to wait till tonight.

-I want to crawl back into bed and just sleep.

-I want to lose weight. Haha.

-I want a new dress, shoes and book.

-I hope I could pass my Chem 160's 4th exam. Damn.

Sign here!

Actually this was originally written last March 03, 2009.
--
Having an autograph back in my younger years is fun. You give it to your friends to be answered and be delighted with whatever they wrote in there. It’s not only the celebrity and famous people who get to sign an autograph, but even in our own circle of friends, we can experience writing on an autograph. So what were those familiar questions on that special book? Let me refresh your memory as I try to re-do the usual queries when you open an autograph.

Of course, the usual first page will include the basic information about the person who will be answering, like name, nickname, age, birthday, birth address, school, etc. But, the next half of the page will include inquiries of the person’s favorites, interests, likes and dislikes. So here it goes.

Hobbies: Reading books, writing anything – may it be stories or lyrics of a song, surfing the net, sketching clothes
Favorite Color: BLUE, a bit of Pink and Green (specifically, Apple Green)
Favorite Book: Echoes, Angels Among Us
Favorite Author: Danielle Steel, Arthur Maxwell
Favorite Actor/Actress: Anne Hathaway, Dakota Fanning
Favorite TV Show: Gossip Girl, CSI
Favorite Movie: What a Girl Wants, Parents’ Trap, Princess Diaries and Hairspray
Favorite Song: This is what Dreams are made of, Breathless
Favorite Band/Singer: Mariah Carey, Celine Dion
Favorite Food: Isis’ Chicken Penne Salad, Shanghai Rolls, KFC’s Oriental Bowl
Favorite Drinks: Yakult, Iced Coffee Latte (Nescafé), Four Seasons-flavored Drink
Likes: Books, Sweet-sounding music, Family get-together, Food
Dislikes: People who are TOO frank, TOO demanding and BIG liars/users
Motto: (before) What is beauty if the brain is empty?
(now) What cannot kill you, will only make you stronger.
Dream in Life: I want to be a doctor, a successful one, with my own clinic in my mother’s province. I also dream to be a well-established author of a book (can’t decide yet if medical-inclined).

See? I remember before, I can’t always decide which is which will be my favorite movie or show, or even the food and book. Funny, now I can almost write at once what are my favorites. Proceeding to the next page of the autograph, if you recall, will be the page of the ‘more personal’ data about the person. And, this is where rumors and teasing will result from, since questions such as ‘Who is your crush?’ and ‘Who is your first love?’ are interesting information to digest.

Describe yourself: I am not that tall, almost 5 feet. I used to have long black hair, but now I have it shoulder-length. Brown eyes and brown skin – typical Filipina features.
Define LOVE: Love is special – it connects lives and sets apart differences.
Who is your CRUSH? I do not have a crush at this moment (honestly).
Have you ever been IN LOVE? Yes.
Who is your FIRST LOVE? The one I fell in love with for the first time – Drew.
What are his/her qualities you like? Big sense of humor and thoughtfulness
Are you two compatible? I don’t think so. He doesn’t want a girl who is a friend to be in love with him, so he walked out of my life.
In what ways? --
Happiest Moment: Each moment I laughed with no constraints or limits – I’m happy.
Most Embarrassing Moment: I mistook a friend’s twin sister as her and I didn’t really believe it at first. I was insisting that she is my friend but she really isn’t. At that time, I didn’t know my friend has a twin sister. She even showed me her school ID and a friend of hers proved me wrong and in front of so many students. Embarrassing!
Greatest Achievement in Life: Graduating valedictorian in our high school batch

These inquiries really struck a nerve in me. Good, I’m done with these questions. But really, it is no wonder people will flock to see your answers and start issues regarding that. The last page is the Dedication page, where you write anything you want to the owner of the autograph. Of course, this page is the most special to the one in possession of the autograph, for she can read and re-read all those sweet notes by her/his friends for her/him.

I just thought of this – do boys also possess autographs? I haven’t encountered back in my elementary and high school days, so I do not know with other people. I mostly see female students, armed with their well-decorated autographs, for their friends to sign.

AUTOGRAPHS – Remembering them brings back memories of the past. They may be memories filled with happiness or sadness, but still part of who we are right now. If you ever encountered your autograph once again while cleaning your old closet, sit back and open it. You’ll never know what surprises are waiting for you again, as you flip those worn pages, filled with notes of people who have been part of your life.

another side of me

I am proud to say that I am a Seventh-Day Adventist. Although I am not strictly studying the word of God, I have learned much in the course of my life. And with that I realize, why don't I share what I know, even as to inspire the hearts of possible readers online, local and abroad. I remember someone said, "Why don't we use the technology to spread the truth, rather than lazing around doing nothing." He is right, and that's why I made another blog. I entitled it HEAVENLY TESTIMONIALS. I am not saying I am the holiest girl alive, but I want to use my time and capability of writing to share notes, verses, stories, lessons I learned, encountered as I live being with my God, being with my religion.

I hope visitors who accidentally bumped into my personal blog will have time to reflect and read this newly established blog of mine.

Thank you. God bless!

-> heavenatlast.blogspot.com

crush

Crush is a term fondly given to someone you like. It may either be a secretive or obvious liking of the opposite sex, or can be the same sex, for some.

But, I won't be talking about my 'crush'. Funny, I do not have one at this moment, though. I'll be just listing things that I personally like. Or maybe, I can include animals, people... just check 'em out!

--


I simply adore butterflies, especially if they exhibit BLUE color. I just can't get enough of them. I find it interesting to just watch them flutter around you, minding their own lives.

--


Angels. I refer to them as my personal guardians. I feel protected and assured knowing and believing they do exist and are with me always. I have experienced cases where I felt my guardian angel saving me, protecting me , with a swish of her/his fluffy wings and touch of her/his gentle hands. Still can't decide if my angel is a he or she. Sorry =D

--


Watching this stethoscope draped on a doctor's shoulders. I've always imagined myself, walking along the corridors of a hospital, clad in white, with my very own stethoscope. Also, with an attached stuff toy. (laughs) It's not that obvious I really do want to be a doctor. I like mine to be either pink or blue!

--


If ever I will have children, I'd rather have TWINS. Yes. A boy and a girl, and I'll be contented. There's an 'if', since I do not know when that would possibly happen. I would have to pursue my career and be successful first. =D

--


I like and appreciate water. All bodies of water. I love to swim. I love to frolick against the waves. I like the feelings of being summoned by the great ocean, or showered by the pretty falls. I wish I have time and money to venture on a trip to all beaches, falls and rivers...etc., there is! It would be fun!!!

--


I like to find the one for me. Someday. Someone who will cherish me for the rest of his lives. And will understand the path of career that I will take. Or if not, someone who will be my true best of friend. Someone who won't leave me because she/he has her/his own love life to take care of about.

--


I like books. As in, I'm totally addicted to reading once I grabbed one. You won't get a decent conversation with me if I'm actually reading a book. So, if you want to give me gifts on my birthdays and Christmas celebrations. . I'll be happy to receive books from you =)

--
Seriously, I am getting sleepy, so I have to end this first. Tsk!

my life would suck without you

FACTION.

In political terms, FACTION is a grouping of individuals, within a political organization, with a political purpose (www.wikipedia.com). In simple words, faction is a group of people sharing the same belief or holding on to the same agenda or motives. I also read, that some factions are loose organizations, with no definitive list of members. while on the other hand there exist factions bearing strong internal structure and official positions for its list of members.

When a faction rises in a group of people, this means a new group is arising, with different thoughts against what is intended for the original group. And that means, there will be partitions of opinions, differences of decisions and plans. And what is the result - divided organization.

Globally, and even locally, this is not a new notion, since there are many cases of growing factions within an organization or existing parties. And we have been, if not part of it, victims of the consequences of such events. In government situation, existence of factions contribute to endless conflicts within the officials, and thus, the environment for them is not conducive anymore for a peaceful convergence of ideas and plans for the welfare of the people they serve. And what do we get in return, continuous trials and cases of impeachments, graft and corruption, and unfinished projects for the country and the hopeful citizens. Is this what we deserve for placing these people in their positions? Will we let them form their own factions just for their own personal and "powerful" benefits? Then, why don't we examine our lives and observe our surroundings. Do these factions not exist around us? Do they not start even within small groups such as class or even social organizations?

I have been a witness to this certain factions and what they lead to, afterwards. Factions even exist in families, where some members of the family grouped together against some fellow family relatives. Will this be helpful? I think not. This will only increase bickerings and pursuit for more arguments. Once a united stronghold, now a divided clan. Do we want that? A family is supposed to be united. And once we are in a class, or in an organization, we recognize these people we are with as new family members. The assurance of unity, through thick and thin, we expect the best and the worst together. But once the family is broken, factions arise, you can just observe how fast the people within the group will start to lose trust and connection. You do not know who to trust to anymore. You do not know if you're teaming up with this faction or the other one. A group is now divided into subgroups, just like a classification phylogeny where a family will be subdivided into genera. Although they are in the same family, they now exist as separate factions. And that is a sad thing.

Unity is essential. You cannot achieve something as a group if the members are not united. When you have a goal in focus, despite the differences that lie within each individual within the group, once you have the same motive, the group will succeed in reaching that goal. Take the case of the Fall of Jericho, as written in the Bible. The Israelites marched "together" around the building, blowing their horns and singing, and through God's power and their unity, Jericho crumbled down.

There is a common saying "United we stand, divided we fall", together we will not crumble easily, but as divided factions, a group/family/organization will easily come tumbling down.

Just like in our country, all we need is unity. If we want these turmoil to end, we have to be at one, to be standing on the same ground, believing in the same cause, or else, our country will just continue embarking on a lifetime dependency for survival, hanging on that thin line of hope for the future.

And for us, let us not forget. No man is an island. Yes, once you are part of a group, cooperate. Be united. No factions. No hidden motives.

We could have a peaceful life when that happens. I know. And I believe, you also think so. :)

it's over and done

..but the heartache lives on inside.

I'm just being emotional right now. Actually, the heartache has been mended. I'm carrying less burden, right now. I am so happy. Actually, I still feel tired but who cares, our Medical Mission was successful.

Yes. It is successful. I'm just happy. Everything went well, even if there were some flaws. I actually slept for almost 12 hours after that.

Relief. Gratitude. Happiness.

Thank you to all the people who supported it.

Thank you, thank you!

because of you. . .

I've done everything to make you happy but it all amounts to nothing in the end.
-
I've done everything to prove I'm worthy but all my efforts are in vain.
-

Have you ever felt like that? You have given it all, yet, you seem UN-appreciated, UN-noticed and UN-remarkable. Have you ever felt the nagging feeling that you have been working too hard to show you care, to prove you can do it, that it becomes tiring already afterwards? I felt like that and it's worse than getting a hangover after drinking too much the night before. It's a grueling process to be accepted, especially if you are just there as an existing wallpaper o a living stuff toy, not even for decoration.

Right now, my emotions are in a turmoil. I'm seeing myself, standing on the edge of the cliff, shadow of faces looming on my back, asking me to step back, while I look down at the angry waves crashing against the jagged stones below. What will I choose? To stay and continue doing what I can, or give up and let myself sink into an abyss of desperation? Sometimes, when the going gets tough, all you need is someone who cares, not someone who let you feel that you're wanted for a split second in history, but you're actually not. It's a rather comforting feeling to be swallowed by the huge open sea and not feel the loneliness surrounding me anymore. I just want to be happy, be appreciated, be loved as I give love.

Desperation. Loss of hope, sinking into despair. Once you're trapped in that abyss, it's hard to free yourself unless you realized you're in that situation. I'm in that situation, right now. All along, I have been caught by the chains of cold imprisonment. Not locked up in a typical jail. But living inside a four-cornered dimension, plagued by the piercing eyes of people you care about, but cared less in return. I want to be free. I want to break down this dark mist shrouding my point of view, clouding my real understanding of happiness.

All I want in life is to be loved. To be understood. To be appreciated. Yet, every mistake I do, it turns out to be a nightmare for me. I have to pick up the pieces of those efforts I made that came tumbling down. I have to re-build again and make myself a remarkable sight to behold. I do not want this kind of set-up. It's as if I'm a non-living mannequin, in an artificial world where I act as my owner wants me to act. I'm tired being too friendly, too understanding, too nice, too forgiving. Why should I be when after everything I do positively, I am still the UN-right person for them.

-
Because of you, I did everything.

Will it please you if I drown myself to complete despair?
Will you be contented if I give up my life just to make you happy?
I don't think so. That's why, right now, I'm about to wake up...

Because of you.

the essence of an ERASER

Photo Courtesy: http://school.discoveryeducation.com/clipart/images/eraser.gif


I received this test message from a friend.
-
Erasers are for people who make errors.
But the wise said:
Erasers are for people who are willing to correct their mistakes.
-

So true. There are so many people I've encountered nowadays who refrain from admitting their own mistakes, worse, they even proclaim they are right, despite the fact that they are OBVIOUSLY wrong. Don't get me wrong. I'm not playing judge nor Miss Perfect, I'm just saying what I usually observe. Take this for example.

-
Sister: Bro, you're in-charge of washing the dishes.
Brother: (nods absently without saying a word)
Sister: (left the kitchen to do something)
Hours later. . .
Sister: (went back to the kitchen, found the dirty dishes still untouched) Bro! I told you to wash the dishes!
Brother: I'm going to wash it later. You don't have to be mad!
Sister: It was hours ago when I told you. (sighs and started cleaning the mess)
Brother: You chatter so much. I already told you I'm going to wash them. (but he left the kitchen and went to watch TV)
-

See, although this is a simple example, it happens. The brother didn't admit that he forgot to wash the dishes and didn't even budge to wash the dishes. Another case, let's take it a bit deeper.

-
Friend 1: Yes, she is so boring. I don't want to be with her too much.
Friend 2: You're right. She is . . . (stops and saw the person they're talking about behind Friend 1's back)
Friend 1: She thinks she is beautiful but she's not. Of course, I'm so not gonna tell her that.
Girl: Really. You think about me like that. (surprises Friend 1)
Friend 1: Of course not, you're not the one we're talking about, right Friend 2?
Friend 2: Yea, right. (smiles weakly)
Girl: I heard you.
Friend 1: You heard wrong. You know what, I'll be leaving now for my class. See you.
-

A case of self-denial leads to hanging bridges between friendships. Friend 1 is already caught saying bad things about the other girl but she never said an apology. That what hurts the girl more, knowing she considers her as a friend.

ERASERS. We use them to "erase" whatever we wrote on a paper that is wrong or needs to be edited. Unlike a "liquid eraser" that just covers up a typographical error, an eraser completely removes it. Yes, there may be remainders of those which have been erased, fragments of your past's mistakes. A clinging reminder that you have committed something wrong, yet, you have been brave to admit it and start all over again.

MISTAKES. Everyone is not perfect, although you see icons of the 'perfect one" on the pages of your all-time favorite magazines. We all do commit mistakes, but it is up to us if we decide to repeat doing the same mistake all over again. Mistakes give us a wake-up call, telling us that we still have to improve ourselves, be better individuals, or if not, be a worthwhile companion. There's a saying that goes, "Once is enough, twice is too much." Doing it once, it is acceptable, as long as you repented for your own mistake. Doing it again, that just proves your incapable of letting go, and you keep on holding back, resulting to repeated streaks of that same mistake.

I,personally have committed mistakes in the past, may it be small, accidental or intentional. And have been repeating some in the course of life I'm taking now. Right now, I'm working on improving myself. Just like what the wise man said, erasers are needed by people like me, who is willing to change, to admit his/her own mistakes.

The essence of an eraser? To erase. The essence of admitting your mistakes? To grow and learn.

it must be the ball

I saw this photo in one of my friends' photo album in her multiply account. A candid shot, sporty me, trying to serve the ball during a heated volleyball finals competition. This is last year, in mid-September, if I remember it right. We won. And of course, we are the champions - we, meaning, our organization. Actually, our volleyball team haven't lost all throughout the season - we're having a winning streak, to be exact.

It's nice to remember, volleyball has been one of my sports. Well, I am not an expert player, but I do know how to play and I think I play well. Friends tell me I'm good, so I believe that. People I know, always tell me I'm a sporty one. Aside from volleyball, I also play basketball, table tennis and badminton. The last two, I'm just playing for fun. Basketball and volleyball are where I can say, I'll be confident playing in. Being in the game gives you the thrill, the tension and the suspense all at the same time. It's a much faster pace when it comes to basketball, and much more aggressive. In volleyball, it's more passive. That's what I think.

Looking back at that stolen picture of me, I couldn't help but smile. I don't remember if I made that serve, I am just happy I'm in that game. I'm happy we won and I'm part of that victorious feeling of emerging champions after that.

Whether I serve the ball or shoot it, I make sure, I give it my best. Just like in life, you'll never be a winner if you quit halfway. Just like now, I will continue living and playing my sports. It's what I love.

what it feels like beyond the teen life?

Yes. I'm officially 20 years old, just recently. It's wonderful to celebrate a birthday with friends, and live for another year, knowing you're one step nearer to your goals in life.I might as well accept that I'm not a young girl anymore.

Being 20, it's like opening a new door where you don't know what's waiting for you inside. It's like meeting the early shower, basking under the coolness of each droplet that falls on my face. It's facing another sunrise, meeting another morning alive. And I am grateful for that, for the fact that I'm still here, breathing and walking on this planet called Earth.

There's so much to do in my life right now. Days before my birthday, I was on the verge of letting myself be hit by a rushing car on the street. Talk about cruelty, I was really down that time. I wanted to escape, to run from my own life, to the point of imagining killing myself. But then again, I cannot do it.

Why? Even if that time I quarreled with my parents and I feel so low, I thought about them. Why waste their efforts by committing suicide? I remember, just now, I wrote for my psychology journal scrapbook - I would like to die through a painless death, wherein those who are close to me, my loved ones, won't be hurt watching me die in pain. Dying peacefully will lessen the pain. They have raised me and thinking of ending my college life like this, I declined the idea of being hit by a car.

I may be in my deepest highs and lows, but I decided not to give up. Even at times where I really want to let go and run away, I will stay. I will live my life, and continue more, even a decade more (if I can). Staying positive, all I can say - Life is beautiful.

And now I am 20 already, it just gets better.

to be or not to be

I took up BS Biology because it will be my stepping stone to take up Medicine in the near future. So why did I choose to be a doctor someday? Is it influenced by friends or by my parents? Or is it my own decision to be one?

Actually, I have so many dreams when I was young. This includes becoming a teacher, lawyer. broadcaster, writer, VJ, DJ . . .everything I saw myself enjoying to do. But then again, you can't do everything at once. My father told me - I have to be someone who can help other people, specifically to serve God. That's when I decided to focus on taking the path towards becoming a doctor. The dream became more intense with the death of my grandmother, to whom I promised that I will build a clinic on her province. and practice my medical expertise someday.

I have this history of low self-esteem. Yes, I can perform live onstage, be an emcee of a certain program back in my high school days and even do a monologue or oration in front of a large audience. But beyond that, I am not truly confident. I easily doubt my own capabilities, especially now that I have already tumbled down in my undergraduate college life. Failing two subjects causing a delay in graduating on time made me think. Am I still up to be a doctor?

People who know me says I am intelligent, meant to be a doctor. Personally, I felt otherwise. I am not intelligent, maybe I am just hardworking. But lately, I'm losing in touch with my study ethics. Maybe, Medicine is not for me. Being a doctor is not for me. These thoughts pop in a little while in my reverie. Should other people be the one pushing me to reach the top? NO. I have to get myself up and working.

Yes. Becoming a doctor is my dream and not just a simple dream. It encompasses my desire to be successful and to be helpful; and my willingness to learn more in life. It doesn't matter now if I have failed two subjects. I may not be a topnotcher right now but I firmly believe I can still be. It only takes the heart and mind to conquer even the hardest dreams in life.

To be or not to be a doctor? I should say, I WILL BE.

just messing around with "cute" icons

I decided to express myself now, not only through written words but also with fancy icons I linked from a friend's site. I think this will be fun. :)

...


Graphics for Myspace

I want to go to the beach - just a time to relax, away from the grueling hours of being a student. Yet, the cold weather I am currently experiencing does not seem to agree with my idea. So I just have to wait till summertime, I guess.



Free Myspace Graphics

I love to read books. I am a self-confessed avid bookworm. And I wish to buy a new set of books - I am thinking more of the suspense type, stories with a twist of crime investigation and romance. And to read a book under a tree sounds nice. But maybe, I'll opt in a cozier place like on my bed.


Comments for Myspace

I just have to let go of Chummy, my recent puppy. I mean, she will not be staying wit me back in the apartment any longer. I will miss her so much, after the efforts of training her and taking care of her. (sighs) I'm attached already.


Comments for Myspace

I love butterflies. I really do. But it will be so bad to catch them and lock them up in a jar just for my own enjoyment! I remember one time, I saw a blue butterfly and I was fascinated, I tried following it much to my delight!


Myspace Graphics

This one is uberly cute. I wish I could get a stuff toy just like this on my birthday! Yes, I'm nearing 20 already!!! Not a teen anymore, but still a kid at heart. Haha.

O well. Another blog next time....

too many stuff to think of. . .

I am the type of person who easily panic. And thanks to my imaginative mind, every time I close my eyes and try to sleep, so many images come to life. These images convey all my pent-up thoughts and emotions - thinking of what has just happened and what could possibly happen in my life. This mostly happens when I think of too many stuff, like being one of the heads of our organization's medical mission this coming February.

I tend to freak out when things seem to go out of hand. Not literally freak out, but get to overwhelmed by fear that things might not be fixed anymore. i think it is because I am afraid of responsibility, especially if I think at once that I cannot handle it well. That is where the problem will start to unfold. I have been elected class president in my high school years and one of the student council organization officers of our school. I have been also the Publications Committee Head of our organization, back here in my college. Yet, I do think big but seemed my capabilities couldn't reach to fill up that BIGNESS of my plans. And when plans toppled down, my life turned for the worst. I feel down and literally not-so-confident anymore. I recline from taking up possible tasks thinking everything will just be wasted when I put my hands on it.

Now that I am a head of an event once more makes me wonder. Will I make it whole after this event? Will my co-heads pull it through, despite my "weak factor"? Whatever is the answer, I want to make it right this time. No more time for mistakes and freak-outs. Though I always had hard time sleeping, I still have to be positive. If not, these many stuff i am thinking off will blow my brains out. I do not want that to happen! I guess, I have to manage my time and efforts wisely. Good luck for me!

appreciate me more!

Being appreciated is the most wonderful thing for me. But it does not require drastic measures such as trophy or gifts or awards. A simple word of appreciation will do. Yet, in this world I lived in, appreciation is taken for granted. People I met think that appreciation is never needed as long as you get what you wanted. As long as everything goes well. In my case, I do not need constant murmurs of appreciation. I want to feel it as well. It does not matter if I do not hear it every time I do something for that person, just a small hint that he or she is grateful, that is already a heartwarming sensation for me.

In life, appreciation has helped a lot, in boosting one's self-esteem or encouraging one's dream. Acknowledging one's good efforts, may it be heroism or genuine help, gives a positive eye on gratitude. Gratitude is one value that we must bear in our heart and mind. Being thankful for what we have is contentment. And being contented is what gives more meaning to life. And life is much beautiful if we learn how to be appreciative. In every corner of our life, as we look back to the past, look forward in the future and dwell on the present, the gift of appreciation must be magnified. There is so much to appreciate - staying alive, having good health, meeting true friends and more. Why would we focus more on what we do not have when we could already be happy with what we have? And why would we cease to appreciate someone when we know he or she is worthy of being appreciated?

It is just a case of taking the lead - the initiative to open up your mouth and speak words of appreciation. What an effect it could do for someone! And what an effect it could do to you too! Now, it is year 2009, is it better to be more appreciative then? Why don't we start by saying how much we are thankful for those people who have been watching your back for the longest time? They may be your parents, grandparents or close friends. Stop for a while and say "Thank you". You'll never know what those words will do for them.

A million thanks for those who are reading and visiting my blog. Happy New Year!

new year's resolution

I never thought what will be my New Year's resolution and I am actually writing this, less than an hour before the first day of January 2009. So what will it be?

Resolution. According to Wikipedia, New Year's resolution is a commitment made by an individual - it can be to change one's lifestyle or to reform a certain habit. Reform which is to change. Maybe, change for the better. In my case, let me think. First on my list will be LONGER PATIENCE. Yes, it has been my weakness ever since I was born. But I have noticed lately, for the past months, I have learned to remain silence whenever I can sense my patience already waning. Unlike before, easily get pissed out and becomes hysterical. Talk about being rude too, especially to the person/s who literally irritated me. Special mention: my brother.

Second will be being positive, especially to how I look. I always feel insecure, this is a trait that has always dragged my self-esteem down. I want to feel positive. I want to be POSITIVE. I am an optimistic person but this personality of mine has been a wayward trademark on me.

What should my other resolutions be? I haven't got any for last year though, as far as I can remember. It is still a good thing to have resolutions. They serve as reminders of what you should do or improve for the coming days of your life. Just as long as they live up to their purpose. It will be a sad thing not to put an effort to make those plans come true for you. Life could be way. . .way BETTER.

Good luck to your New Year's resolutions. Keep on living!

MY BROTHER IS A PRINCE

Actually, he is not. Absolutely NOT. If he's a prince, then I should be a princess, but I'm not. He's not blue-blooded either. So, what's with the fancy title? It's because he ACTS LIKE A PRINCE. I don't mean to speak badly of princes but it is a general fact that a prince is served. Yes. A prince doesn't do his laundry, someone else does it for him. He lives in a grand palace and everything's set without him moving a finger. Bath, clothes, meals, dirty dishes. . . and even money is no hassle. He can spend on anything, someone else pays it for him (it can be his family's bank or the king's wealth itself). And that is how it compliments my brother well. He always feel supreme, an egoistic air floats around his character making it worse. I do not mean to be rude to my own brother but he started it. He is the one being RUDE and UNFAIR that it always makes my blood boil.

My brother can be charming and sweet, if he wants to. And that includes those times he needed something from me or from my parents. Like money to buy new clothes or stuff to give away to some "special" friends. He doesn't even focus on his own studies! What the heck?!?! I just . . . I just want him to be CONSCIOUS. To be wary of what he is doing, my mother is having a HARD TIME with him. He never offers help. And if he did help, it's quick as a lightning. He mostly TALKS BACK. I don't think he has the right to talk back when he, in the first place, doesn't act and behave well. I'm not perfect, okay? I'm not judging my brother. I just feel sorry for him. He thinks he KNOWS everything. He acts as if he is SMART ENOUGH to get away with his own mistakes. I know he is smart academically, but he is JUST LAZY to even push an effort to enhance his school performance.

I know my blog should be about me, but I'm talking about how I feel about my brother. I love him so much. I know I've never been the perfect sister, since I could be a BRAT when it comes to him. I care for my parents. I care about him. I just hope, this coming 2009, he will decide to be better. And I for one, will just pray for patience to absolutely stay firm. I do not wish to be back to the way it was before - the two of us constantly bickering. I'm tired to even do that anymore.

So younger brothers out there, be sensitive. Do not make your parents' or sister's lives harder than they were. And older sisters like me. Patience is all I can say.

shopping everyone?

It's a common practice, or should I say, a required routine for people to go shopping, especially during the holiday season - Christmas and New Year. And I admit, this year has been a grand shopping experience for me.

Let's just say that I have been to three-days shopping spree, one before Christmas and two before the celebration of a brand new year. I'm not bragging that I have the MONEY and the TIME to do this kind of thing. I'm just spending what money I've saved for the past months. Yes, money I patiently stashed in my wallet, controlling myself not to spend it otherwise. So what's with shopping? Many people love to do this stuff, and I'm not included. Actually, I do shopping whenever my wallet and schedule permit me to do so! Those will be when I need some stuff, as in NEEEEEEEED them badly that I have to ask my Mom to accompany me to the nearest mall. Beside those circumstances, I do not favor going to the mall regularly. Really. But I still like looking at the dresses and the bags and the shoes and the sandals. Ohhhhkay. I must admit I still like shopping, as long as it won't take me too long to stroll inside the mall.

And now that the season is back, more people are swarming inside the mall just to get their hands on the year-end sale. Too many people are flocking in, their money in tow and a long list of things to buy. Well, you can't blame them. It has been an insistent fact that they must have new stuff, especially circular things when the break of another year comes in. Homes must be sparkly clean and the table is filled with delicious feast. You won't know who's coming over to eat and chat!

As for me, my shopping experience is fun. I bought a lot, much to my expectations - bags, sandals, tops, shorts, dresses. Thanks to my savings, I had pull it all through. Still, I kept in mind to buy a simple gift for my Mom, for her wondrous efforts. She sweetly asked for it, though, I just can't say NO of course!

And yes, even if still there are people who can't shop till they drop, including me, let's not forget the values of sharing and saving. It's never a huge responsibility to give something to someone. And it's a good thing to save, for whatever future's has in you.

So, are you ready to do more shopping? :)

achoo!

I hate having sneezes. Did I use the right term? And having it just couple of days before New Year makes it worse. But my case is not just a simple sneezing, but a repetitive one! Yes, not just once, but even more than 5 in a couple of minutes. It will leave me with an aching throat and weary body, not to mention, my poor nose! My friend, who has the same regular problem told me I have ALLERGY RHINITIS. So, I checked the internet to read something about it, though I'm very familiar with the term already.

ALLERGY RHINITIS is an inflammation of the nasal passages, usually associated with watery nasal discharge and itching of nose and eyes. The characteristic symptoms include repetitive sneezing, as I mentioned a while ago, rhinorrhea, post-nasal drip, nasal congestion, itchy eyes, ears, nose or throat, and generalized fatigue (thanks to this website - http://www.healthscout.com/ency/68/208/main.html). It's my first time to encounter RHINORRHEA, and it means "runny nose". And this badly needs a lot of supply of tissues, I tell you. So that is why I am having a VERY hard time getting out of the bed this morning, my body seemed carrying a pile of cement on the back! I find it hard to speak audibly, my voice is groggy and creepy (yes, it's a mixed muffled and husky voice - if I described it right). This has been a usual predicament for me, repetitive sneezing, runny nose and nasal congestion. The last one makes it difficult for me to SLEEP. I will find myself having a hard time breathing, as if I'm suffocating that I have to breathe using my mouth LITERALLY.

Well, I read more and saw ways to treat this ailment, through antihistamines, decongestants, nasal sprays and even allergy shots, since allergy rhinitis is caused mainly by allergens. I think I'll be needing some medicine. For the past years, when I have such condition, I just drink water or wash my face. And endure it. i guess it won't work that well.

Is this inherited when my father has a record of ASTHMA? Hmm..

....

Ma, do we have Benadryl? (me trying to ask my Mom for an antihistamine drug).

hello 2009

Another year is on the roll and now it is time for the year of the Ox, as based on Chinese calendar to take its toll. I decided to search some basic information about this year and soon enough, predictions for the 2009 are already available on the web. The pinoybusiness.org provided a lengthy discussion on what to expect and what to prevent in the coming year. With my heightening curiosity, I decided to click on the forecast for those born in the year of the snake ( I am born on year 1989). I read about three unlucky stars who will bring about bad news to my life - an elderly getting sick, fluctuations and "emotional rollercoaster", as the article stated in relationships. But since there's no elderly in my family and I'm not in any kind of relationships (boy-girl, of course), can I say it won't be applicable for me? Next stop is the lucky stars, as Chinese astrologers called them, and it was written that there are more shining lucky stars on Snake-borne individuals like me, compared to the past years. Promising marriages, promotion, salary-raise, and improved leadership skills are waiting to be achieved! Is that a VERY good sign? I can say, yes, but only one can be possible for me, and that is IMPROVED LEADERSHIP SKILLS. I'm never that good even though I have been elected officer many times back in high school days. As far as I can see, I'm a mediocre when it comes to leadership.

Okay, forget about my leadership skills and back to the main gist - year 2009. I am not the kind of person too inclined on forecasts or superstitions, not to mention astrological beliefs. Even in my own country's "pamahiin", I do not personally obliged myself to apply them in my life. Just a few, maybe, and mostly influenced by my mother. Yet, I respect those people who firmly believed on such, to the point they depend their lives on these superstitial stuff. If it applies to them, why not?

The bottomline is, you make your own future. Yes, another year will come, again and again, it is up to an individual to work it all out. Even if I've read on predictions that I, who was born in the year of the Snake will have it good this year, I can even make it better. Life has many surprises waiting to be unfold, and I won't doubt 2009 has more to deliver. May it be inspired by the stars or good luck, year 2009 will depend on where you are, what you are and how you are doing it. If you want change, then CHANGE. If you want to be the same, stay the same.

As for me, I'm willing to do BOTH. Change for a better person, which I badly needed to do (learn patience!) and stay the same as the simple and family-oriented girl, born in the year 1989.

A BLESSED HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

a love that never began in the first place

why is it hard to let go of something you never even own in the first place?

why is it that someone makes your heart confused in one second,

and gets it broken the second after?

why is it that someone lets you fall in love with him,

with just being himself?

why must everything start from an accidental glance?

and ends with a realization everything will not last..

knowing it never even start right.


sighs.

champions in its truest sense

recently, palacasan 2008 ended with a blast.

palacasan 2008 is a semestral sportsfest among CAS organizations. CAS stands for college of arts and science in the university of the philippines, los banos.

the list of games/sports included basketball, volleyball, table tennis, swimming, track and field, chess and ball games, such as 2ball, 3point shootout and buzzer beater competitions..

anyways, the main gist here is that our organization emerged victorious, being the overall champion. that's overwhelming, but we know best that we deserve it.

we were also champions in the women's basketball, second runner-up in men's basketball, second runner-up in table tennis doubles, first-runner up in women's table tennis... and the list goes on.

it's really fun.you get to enhance your skills in every sport you play, and gain friends in the process. also, gain memories you'll ever cherish.

that's what made my first sem, busy as a bee, aside from the pile of academics on my shoulder..

yet, i am very happy.
philobioscientia is truly a champion, the best-est org ever.
and i'm grateful i became part of this family. :D

my web address

i have a web address.

and since i can't even edit my LINKS, i'm writing it here..

http://asia.geocities.com/twilight_maiden7679/i_am_noah.html

hope you can check it out.

hehe :D

mini-reunion of my hs batch 05

i'm so happy.

it has been ages ago since we had gathered together like this.

although, i was late, i'm thankful i've come.

and good thing, i wasn't that much super late for the event.

we ate together, watched movie together, and chatted with one another.

even if too much distractions caused misunderstanding, the mere presence of being close to your high school bacthmates is an overwhelming feeling.

i missed them so much.

i remember, denver said, "you were silent the last time we had a gathering like this."

i said "maybe, now, it's overwhelming to see you all again. i just can't stop myself."

yes. all this past years, i was waiting for someone to be there. to jusy hang out without any pretentions. to just relax and open up. and last night, they were there..

years had passed, but just by looking at them..

it's timeless.

the moments we shared.

i thank God.

a person like me, to have friends like them.

p.s.

lie - take care going back to cebu
kaye - every bit of your advice is truly appreciated. (i need em!)
shane - seeing you again is nice. considering we haven't seen much of each other in lb.
shan - keep it safe. thanks!
denver - i never did expect you could be so emotional. listening to you gives me the overpowering surge of emotions!
adrian - hope everything with her moves on positively.
aj - i know, we were immature before, but still now, we still can't help but be immature sometimes.
kyra - as always, you're pretty.. are you really imported from germany? hehe.
sonny - i miss your draing (anime). i never did learn though. sighs
arthur - i'm so happy i saw you again. so happy. as in!
syrold - you're back. good luck in your nursing career.
nico - you're confidence is inspiring..nice to chat with you last mini-reunion!
rem - fine.i'm always wrong.but am i'm right if i say "you just missed me?" haha. peace.
vin - haven't changed? you still stand out.
junbelle - o well, you still play unfair.(bleh!)

^they were the ones i've been with in the mini-reunion...

to my other batchmates, i miss you too!!!!

proud pinay

i'm so happy i became part of this "angelo aquino's proud filipino project".

well, i'm really proud to be a filipina, despite everything that my own country has been put into.

being pinay is so overwhelming.

even if i'm not a fair-skinned damsel,

nor a blue-eyed lady..

i'm contented with my "kayumangging balat" and brown eyes..

i thought before, i have black eyes. haha. until now, it is confusing me.

nevertheless, i dream to go around the globe, but i'll stay here in my country.

what can i say?

i'm noahdel hallel francisco.

PROUD FILIPINA.

summer classes!

after almost a week of break from studies, here i am again, going back to the university to be a student once more.

next week, summer classes will be starting and i don't know if i may be able to go home all throughout summer since my schedule doesn't give me much time to travel back home and stay for a while.

well, i will just have to make way for it.

btu hopefully, my grades last semester are okay. really.i do hope so.

frankly, i'm in not much good shape but i did my hardest best.lol.is my grammar right?

on the other hand, my short break was filled with playing online rpg games.especially flyff.yep, my brother and i were addicted.but,it ends for me, since classes will resume.

so sad.but that's the way it is.

^_-

pissed.sad.hurt.

damn.

i just physically assaulted my brother.

he can be so irritating to the point of being unnervingly hostile.

sighs.

why must i endure the bad judgment later on then?

isn't it me always being reprimanded here?

i was never properly appreciated - even just in small account, that would be very nice.

sometimes, i wish i could fly away and find my secret haven where i can feel secured and safe.

sometimes, i wanted to forget everything, to have amnesia or to sleep unnerved by everyone else.

i'm always in pain.always lost.always hurt.but do they notice it? no,even if i'm seen as transparent as a clear plastic.

maybe if i'll doze this off, i can let it go eventually.

yeah, maybe, eventually.

picasa - wow

i saw it before in my father's laptop but i never opened it, even though i was curious what the heck is this program for.then, my friend who got her new laptop showed me some pictures she edited through picasa and i was amazed.it's user-friendly and you can edit your pictures with instant awesome results.nice!
so here's some of my first pics in the list which i edited, in response to my enthusiasm to try it out.

LOADED..no time for rest

i really don't know how to manage to do everything especially those required for the next three days of my student life..

i'm confused..

i hardly slept soundly last night since i stayed up late, reviewing for my examination tomorrow, which until now, i'm not yet done.

and there's still a pile of school works to do..
my head's getting heavier each second that counts..

i can't even breathe a little to relax..

sighs..

online registration for summer classes 2008

wow. it's near end of another semester and the beginning of summer classes for the year 2008..
it's a continuous struggle of a student to carry on with his/her obligations.. even if it means letting go of your summer plans in a faraway island or travel across countries...
yep, you can't lose the opportunity to take subjects which can help you lessen your load for the next semesters and give you hope of not being delayed. \

well, Godbless, since subjects are limited for the summer..

and that's where my problem lies..

tsk.

few weeks to go

it's nearing the end of another semester..

lots of pressure..

school works..

tons of requirements..

tsk..

i wish i could pass all my subjects for this sem..

goodbye to a canine friend..

[same blog written in multiply account]

one of our dogs passed away last wednesday, almost five in the evening..

i just learned of it a while ago, and that prompted me to write something.

i will miss him - non-breed dog, but known for his flexibility in getting himself inside narrow spaced railings and for being panicky whenever fireworks could be heard.

i will miss his bouncing brown and white fluffy body coming to meet me as i stepped off the tricycle, announcing that i have arrived home.

i will be always reminded of the many sabbath days that he is present, attending church with the whole family.

once a baby, grew up in our custody and now left us already..

but memories of him will still be burning alive deep within our hearts.

rest well clipper.rest well.

my bioclock went confused

we had our org's finals last friday (feb 29) and our ornithology's fieldtrip yesterday (march 1)... to think that i was awake the whole evening of friday's and then went to the fieldtrip after just taking a bath and changing clothes!!..

so the result?

i was dead asleep in the bus, all throughout the travel...
tsk.

and i was having this heaviness in my head, leading to headache.

and we didn;t have nay stopover to have lunch?!?!?!?!

not so good.

when we were back in elbi, we went straight to McDo to eat.
then as i was back in the apartment, i lied down on my bed. i slept from seven in the evening until 2 in early morning!!!! i haven't changed my clothes and i left the lights on!

that's why this morning, up until now, i am quite experiencing dizziness...


:(

p.s the poicture was taken in avilon zoo..

getting sick

people are getting sicker everyday..

cough.
headache.
runny nose.
body pains.

tsk.

people being confined are also increasing.
not so good.

hope everyone gets better, including me.

is it left or right?

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

anatomy exam again and again..

well, that's how a zoology student life started..

begin with anatomy.

then be fit for the next subjects in the coming semesters.

but for now, i just have to dwell with two exams, both lecture and laboratory.

good thing to say, i haven't flunked any exam so i just got to be consistent.

Godbless me. :)

my aura?!?!?

Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life. You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships. The purpose of your life: showing love to other people Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

What Color Is Your Aura?

my vocabs..

BELIEVE IT.
haha.

Your Vocabulary Score: A

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

quiz bowl o8

i was so happy even if i was sick during this mahor event of our organization.

since it's calabarzon, my alma mater (school before college) participated and even made it to the top ten. the other team also was included in the top ten and even emerged second-runner up. i will miss those boys. heheh =)

anyways, i am proud of all the teams. they did well!

not feeling well

i am sick.

huhu.

runny nose.

headache.

sore throat.

help.

addicted to coffee prince

last night i finished watching the episodes of coffee prince in the cd i bought..

just cant help myself.

i just got to watch.

i love the cast, the plot, everything in the show..

i enjoyed every scene, i cried on every dramatic moments and be hyped whenever they (yoon eun hye and gong yoo) had romantic encounters..



love it so much!!!!!!!

i hope i can watch more of her shows =)

--> princess hours and coffee prince rock!

cold and cozy..

it is getting colder as the days go by...

and it is becoming a habit to bring a jacket and an umbrella..

the wind blowing stronger than before..

and rain has been pouring non-stop from the sky..

so cozy to snuggle under the covers and just sleep.

i am 19 ...

last february 6, 2008, i celebrated my 19th birthday..

although i was not feeling very well the day before this special event in my life, i still managed to enjoy most of it..

i ended the night with the company of my sisses as we cleebrated it with best ahl's cake.

hehehe =)


looooove it.

belated happy birthday to me :)

saw this and had a great laugh!

http://www.perfspot.com/video/1440056568




"medium sulphur crested Eleanora cockatoo named Snowball who loves Backstreet Boys and learned how to dance in their song Everybody"

litterbox training for my kittens

sanfo is learning and improving. and i'm so happy to just watch him do his toilet on the litterboxes provided.

but lax is another issue, he seemed repulsive to learn that he must do his toilet on the boxes with sand.


tsk.

i do wish he could learn it to lessen the hassle of cleaning his mess..

well, i love my kittens.

they just got their injections for deworming sunday morning..

i am so proud of them =)

what's in my name?? =)

What Noah Means

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

travel with my kittens

well, it's my kittens's first time to travel with me and they started it with endless purrs and cries...
but later on, they managed to doze off in our long stay in the bus because of traffic..

right now, we are all at home, enjoying the comfort and rest..

(",)

meow!

i am so happy.



yup, i have my two very own kittens.



my efforts of finding one led to having two!



and i am really contented just having them playing around in my apartment.



to all who don't love cats, i don't care.



lol.



i love them, as much as i love our dogs back home...



well, i hope they grow into fine tomcats.



hehe..





--> meet lax (yellow/white) and sanfo (gray/black stripes)..



p.s. the names are given by my dad who supported my cravings for having a cat in my life. :)

i want to adopt a cat..

meow...

i really love to have a cat to stay with me back in the apartment where i'm staying..
i really love animals and since i have learned how to adopt one from the philippine animal welfare society, i can't decide if i'm really pushing through to adopting one.i'm helping those abandoned animals at the same time, right?

sigh....

i need a companion.
what should i do then????



hmmm.....

rummage fever

wow.i am sleepy but i can't recover from the fact that we raised that much money!really.it's so kawaii!AMAZING.i don't know if it's a good timing or what.hahaha.well, i won't say how much we earned from the effort of waking up early and going to the marketplace to sell cothes,bags and more...but, it's worth the experience.it was so much fun.

hahaha. (",)


applause for those who went to the rummage! :)

no rest at all

(sigh).

i need rest.badly.okay, can i sleep like for more than 24 hours?just to regain back the nights of no genuine sleep at all.

and there's still so much to do, to think about...

well.i think i'll sleep after this. i hope.


zzzzZZZZZZzzzz....

time to go back to elbi

even though i still don't want to, i got no choice.lol.it's time for classes to resume so i have to travel back to my apartment later this afternoon.actually, i just got one class for tomorrow, but an improtant one, so i really got to go back.

well, i am a student again.after almost ten days of vacation- being bum.lol.

a new year 2oo8 ahead of me and i don't know what's comin'.but nevertheless, let's go!

(",)

hapi new year o8..

hapi new year...





last night, we had so much fun, even though we didn't have that much fireworks.i just enjoyed watching the astounding fireworks display in the evening sky.

well, it's me, smiling after shouting and admiring the fireworks outside of our home.but, i'm wearing hearts-printed top instead of polka-dotted one..:)

hapi new year o8 to everyone....

love lots...