dreaming to be with MY family

I saw this again, after going through the last chapter of Moe Kare, one of the mangas I've read in the past. This made me teary-eyed when I first finished reading the manga. The feeling I had was kinda queasy, like I wanted to have the same scene in my life in the future. Not exactly, but to meet that person you really love and to have a family with him was one of my girlish dreams, I suppose. I want to experience LOVE, where just looking at the eyes of my husband, I know the words he wanted to say..

But, o well, it will be too many years from now for that to happen, I hope.
And one bright morning, I will face the day with a big smile as I looked back at my sleeping husband and future baby (hope babies=TWINS!) ^_^


[credit picture to www.mangafox.com ~ thanks!]

addicted to you

Yes.
I am REALLY addicted to this latest manga that I have been reading.

KAICHOU MAID-SAMA
[Student COuncil President is a Maid]


I won't tell much about the story, but I recommend YOU to go and read it.
Cool, fun and romantic.


[credit to www.mangafox.com - thank you!]

This part in the manga is what I have been dying to read since the beginning.
Well, see actually.

The night where Misaki finally confessed, well not wholly confessed the 'I Love YOu' part.. I'll be waiting for that one..but what matters is that, at least she admitted how Usui affects her!

SWEET!

O well, I can feel love in the air.
I hope Ch. 44 comes out soon!


LOve it.
LOOOOOOOOOoooooove it!
Haha.

on and off

It was a struggling decision when I confessed.
Even though it was not personally executed, it was emotional.
That time, I decided to step away..
from the world we both share.
Seeing one another was like fate entangling us both.
I am not trying to tie the rope of our hearts together..
so I continued hiding, staying away.
But life sure has its own makings and we met again on the crossroad.
Touch, the consent, the acceptance..
the choice of erasing what has been said and done.
To save something, you have to sacrifice.
My heart is settled, I guess.
The mere feeling of your hand entertwined in the strands of my hair.
That proves I'm still part of you.
And you to me.
I should be contented, not selfish.

We may not be lovers.
We're friends.
That's how it is supposed to be, right?

explored, experienced, survived

It was beyond what I expected.
Far more than what I've prepared for mentally and physically.




On top of Mt. Daguldol, we faced off against the storm (Typhoon Santi). Our only protection was our respective tents and the power of prayer and support for each other. The howling wind flapping against the tent brought upon shivering coldness against our already damp skin. We decided to disperse to different available tents when our tent was nearing its collapse. I waited for dawn under the shelter of someone's tent, shaking, wet, our feet waded in a pool of water already entering the premises. The wind continued its journey in our camp site and all we did was pray and stay together on top of the mountain.

Saturday early dawn, everyone started packing up to travel down the trail we trod on the previous day. The trail wasn't easy since the rain caused the path to be muddy, slippery and dangerous. I had numerous falls, accidental slips, but I continued. We all continued, helping each other, trying to lift each other's spirits. Despite what happened, we could still hear laughter from each other, still positive.

On the foot of the mountain, we decided to stay on the beach for the night. Sunday, when we were on our way to travel back home, the bus broke down. So we had to wait for it to be fixed, for about 5 hours at most. But what I heard from my fellow companions were not murmurs of irritation, but words of encouragement, that ended up to doing fun stuff together to outwit the boredom creeping in.

My weekend was fun, amidst the stormy challenges we encountered.
Although there was a prepared "survival game" program by the Area officers, what we experienced in Batangas deserved to be fitted to a "reality" show. We faced off not only our own limitations, but the element of nature and circumstances.

Truly, through God nothing is impossible.
And you can always find shelter in Him in the time of storm.


So I, along with my fellow hikers, EXPLORED, EXPERIENCED and SURVIVED.

^_^

when forever's not enough

I just heard a while ago about my great-grandmother recently celebrating her birthday.Her age is 92.She is the mother of my late grandmother. Yes, Lola left this world earlier than her.

When I heard of this, I can't help but be amazed. Our relatives reported, according to my mother who was relaying the story to us, my grandmother is still strong and dreams of becoming rich. What a woman! Many will surely be envious of her, reaching that age where few have arrived. For the recent years, many have been dying at early age which saddened a lot of loved ones.

At this world, there are so many factors that can influence one's death or longevity. You cannot control your life, how long you may live or when you will exhale your last breath. But one thing is for sure, what you take in your body, what you do to your body will bear the consequences in the future. If you're careful, you might get to live that long. Yet many will say, there are still people who live a healthy life but still die early. Why, they may say? As I said, we cannot control our lives, only a Higher Being know where we're going in the years to come, what will happen to us, will we live until our 50's or maybe reach the age of 100? Despite that, it's no use getting fussy over the fact that we will reach death at the end of the crossroad. Everything has its end, no one or nothing is forever in this world. Changes always come. A race that starts will have its finish line in the end.

But I believe, no matter how everything will end for me, I will live my life to the fullest. So whenever I'm at my end, when I look back at those years, I know, I am happy and I have nothing to regret. And maybe, even if I don't reach my 90 years of life, someone will still remember me on the day I was born and the day I left the world to rest.


P.S.
It's not that I am giving the creeps, I am not really comfortable talking about death or everything. I just want myself to accept it step by step. That's why I blogged about it.

brand new day

I edited my blog and is trying to be consistent about it (snickers)..
I want a fresh start for my blog and even though there are few who ever visit this site (cheers to that!), I will still continue to write my thoughts about anything.

That's freedom, folks. Oh yeah!

And I hope, in time, I will finally reach out and touch people's hearts (oh the drama!).

laters.

quake!

Strong earthquake hits near Philippines
AP - Thursday, October 8

WASHINGTON – A strong earthquake struck south of the Philippines on Wednesday, the U.S. Geological Survey reported.

The quake had a preliminary magnitude of 6.7 and was located in the Celebes Sea, 175 miles southeast of Jolo, Sulu Archipelago, and 730 miles south of Manila. The quake hit at 5:41 p.m. EDT, or 5:41 a.m. Thursday local time.

USGS did not report any damages or injuries.(link)

---

I don't know with this one, but I hope authorities are getting prepared for whatever might happen next. The country cannot afford another calamity that will add up to the damage already there from the past events (Ondoy and Pepeng).

Let's be ready and forget not to pray.

Out of the Blue I

“Will you let me court you?”

I stood dumbfounded in front of the guy who just asked me that. Meg who was with me at that time was also shocked and was silent behind my back. After a minute of silence, I smiled warily and decided to leave without a word. He stopped me, walking in front of, trying to get my attention.

“Will you stop joking around?” I finally blurted out. He was with friends of his who were all guys and were just watching us as they sat comfortably beside the store where we were already making a scene.

“I’m serious.” His face was indeed serious, but I just cannot understand what came into his mind to question me out of the blue. Honestly, we’re not even acquaintances, but yes, he is a familiar face to me.

“We’re late for class, so will you please excuse us?” I walked past him with Meg tagging along, who still seemed confused to what had just occurred.

“Do you know him?” She asked when finally we escaped the guy’s efforts of stopping us again. We hurried along outside the gate and into the campus. The siren already echoed, announcing eight o’clock in the morning.

“I’m familiar with his face, yes, but we were never acquainted.” Frowning, I tried to erase the scene from my mind as I changed the subject of our conversation. We went to our respective classes and decided to meet again for lunch.
--
I was walking along the street, on my way to the apartment when I sensed that someone was following me. Thinking that my paranoia was already striking so early in the morning, I decided not to turn around to investigate. Seconds later, a shadow passed beside me but I didn’t notice at once, since my eyes were trained on my phone.

“Who is so important that you have to text?” The familiar voice prompted me to abruptly look sideways. It was that same guy who wanted to court me this morning. And when I was already forgetting what happened, he’s actually with me.

“Shut up. Leave me alone, will you?” Pissed off, I walked a bit faster, trying to push him away. He just followed me silently with that stupid smile on his face.

“I just want to talk to you, you know. You don’t have to be so hard-to-get.” He mused, smiling at me when I stopped walking and faced him.

I breathed in and out before I speak. “I don’t even know you. And who the hell are you to tell me I’m being hard-to-get? I don’t even like you tagging along with me. Just leave me alone!” Not knowing what to do next, I suddenly hit his shoulder with my clenched fist out of exasperation. He was surprised but I left him standing alone, running my way to the apartment.

I felt my tears forming in the corner of my eyes as I rushed inside my second home. Trying to relax, I sat down, at the same time, rubbing my aching forehead.

“What the hell is his problem anyway?” I muttered. What I knew about him, but still I’m not sure too, is that he is a member of a fraternity. That’s all I know about that guy since I always saw him hanging at that same store this morning with a group of guys.

A message came in my phone so I hurriedly open to read it. The message was short and it came from someone whose number is not registered in my phonebook.

I am sorry. Can you let me make up for what I did? – Howard.

I read it again and again and wondered who is Howard, and don’t want to think that he is that guy just a while ago. But it looked like he is that guy since I can’t think of a Howard who I personally knew and did something bad to me. I put the phone on the table and tried to think of what to do – reply or just leave the message alone. Before I can even decide, my phone rang and Howard is already calling.

“What?” I spat when I answered the phone, which I can’t believe I did. Maybe it was out of surprise or out of curiosity for this guy, I don’t care anymore.

“I am really sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off. Will you go out with me for dinner tonight?” His manly voice was enticing, the invitation seemed innocent, and my irritation towards him just melted after hearing his voice on the phone. Talk about irony, so I found myself seconds after agreeing to meet him at seven in the evening. And I’ll ask him how he got my number when I realized I forgot to ask after ending the call. Wondering what will happen tonight, I mused at my stupidity while climbing upstairs to rest for a while.

Prayers to all victims of Ondoy

The typhoon Ondoy has caused a massive impact to the Philippines, especially in Metro Manila and regions of Marikina, Quezon and Rizal. In just a matter of time, people, animals, appliances and vehicles were all washed away by the raging rainstorm.


(www.timesonline.co.uk)


(news.xinhuanet.com)


(www8.gmanews.tv)

There were so many casualties, so many people who needed assistance, not only financially, but through supplies of food, water and clothing. On that fateful day that Ondoy poured its way into our lives, many were left in despair, anguish and pain. There were sacrifices made, like the story of Mr. Magallanes (May his spirit rest in peace.) who had saved more than 30 people during the rampaging storm and water current.

See this link for more details:http://www.theage.com.au/world/philippine-man-loses-own-life-after-saving-dozens-from-floods-20090928-g8o4.html">

Gratitude is what I'm feeling right now that my family is safe, we haven't experienced that much, but my heart reaches our for those who weren't that fortunate. Human is never that strong enough to withstand the power of nature, amidst studying science, calamities for how long history can tell. This helps us to be more wary, more prepared and conscious of our actions towards Mother Nature. We can never predict accurately when or how storms, landslides or tsunami will hit our country. All we have to battle them with is good preparation.

But right now, let's all work together. Through different means, let us extend whatever help we can give, may it be through walk-in donations, pledges or prayers. These victims need them. Let us give them the reason not to give up on living.

As the song goes, "The Lord's our Rock, in Him we hide, a shelter in the time of storm ..". Keep on trustin' and believing. Everything happens for a reason.


(http://carnageandculture.blogspot.com)

*For more inquires, you can visit the following sites:

http://www.google.com/landing/typhoon-ondoy.html
http://www.redcross.org.ph/Site/PNRC/wtd.aspx


(I apologize if the picture is shown incomplete)

At Your Side

THREE things that provoked me to think if I am a good friend.
THREE statements friends tell me why they don't come to me..
why they don't seek me..
and why, possibly, I don't know that much about them.

Honestly, I care too much about the answer 'coz I don't feel that I'm one when people you call your "friends" do not seem to mind at all. Or am I just being too sensitive on the matter?

1. You have so many problems already, I don't want to add to your burdens.

Isn't one purpose of a friend is someone you can unload your problems to? Then, why the heck do they refrain from talking to me? Do I have that much of an aura of someone who doesn't want to be disturbed? I know myself, I am much of a listener as well as a talker, but I do listen when someone talks. Am I not that worthy to be hearing a friend's stories, may it be problems or chitchats? I just can't help but feel bothered, even with my own brother, he doesn't get to open up with me. What hurts most is to hear stories of his life from a friend who seem to know that much. Sucks big time.

2. You're already busy, I don't want to disturb you.

Anyone can be busy. Yet, despite being busy, I can make time if you want to talk to me. At this point in my life where I don't have company in the apartment where I'm staying in, I will love the presence of a friend who will come around just to talk with me. I do appreciate the fact when I'm needed, when I know I can help someone with my own efforts. I love the idea that I'm someone they can depend on, not just to laugh with. Being with friends is an escape from the hectic life of being a student.

3. You're the stuff toy.

I've heard this from a friend, referring to my status in my high school batchmates' circle of guy friends. Why? She said it because I'm someone the guys can laugh with, joke around simply or just hang out with. I should be happy, right, but am I just that? Can't I be more than the group's stuff toy? Am I just the "clown" who just knows how to crack a joke or two? Can't they trust me with their stories or problems?

Maybe, I'm at fault in the first place.
All this time, I try to be approachable, outgoing, friendly, thoughtful and sensitive to the point that I'm willing to exert my best just to make my friends happy or okay.
Yet, as time passes, I'm feeling all left out.
Despite my efforts to reach out, to seek my friends, I don't seem to know what the hell is going on around them.
Is it because I don't ask? I'm not the type of person to insist on someone to talk unless he/she takes the initiative..
I respect their privacy.
Is it wrong to think that way?
Where the heck am I wrong anyway?

Why after all these years of being the friendly person that I am, I always feel down whenever I'm alone to think things over?
I really wonder why.

color my world -- a real outlook in life!

A surprisingly almost-correct results after taking this interesting quiz. Try it for yourself and see for yourself...

http://www.colorquiz.com/index.php
--

YOUR EXISTING SITUATION
Desires to be respected by others in order to gain their trust and support for her own personal gain.

YOUR STRESS SOURCES
"Avoids pressure from others and insists on developing her individual independence. Wants to make up her own mind with resistance from others or outside forces, and needs the freedom to make her own decisions. Wants to be looked at as a wise individual whose opinions are respected, and has a hard time admitting she is wrong. Can be reluctant to accept or understand other people's opinions or point of view."

YOUR RESTRAINED CHARACTERISTICS
"Seeking to broaden her horizons and believes her hopes and dreams are realistic. Worries she may not be able to do the things she wants and needs to escape to a peaceful, quiet environment in order to restore her confidence."

"Seeking to broaden her horizons and believes her hopes and dreams are realistic. Worries she may not be able to do the things she wants and needs to escape to a peaceful, quiet environment in order to restore her confidence."

"Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation."

Current events have her feeling forced to make bargains and put aside her own desires for now. she is able to find satisfaction and happiness through sexual activity.

YOUR DESIRED OBJECTIVE
"Needs peaceful surroundings. Looking for relief from stress, conflict, and arguments. Tries to control potentially harmful situations and arguments by treading lightly. Is sensitive, emotional, and has an eye for detail."

YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM
"Wants to be valued and respected, seeks a close and peaceful relationship with a shared respect of each other."

YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM #2
"Prefers to be left in peace and avoids arguments, confrontation, and conflicts."

Falling in Love - Yes or No?

*This is an original article written last September 05, 2009*



If only the reality in falling in love can be taught inside the classroom, then I would not second-thought to attend that kind of class. If there can be a subject where a person can be instructed how to fall in love correctly and not to fall in love in the wrong time, then I would do everything to enrol in that course. But honestly, there aren’t that many opportunities to learn about love just within the four corners of your classroom. You get to know face-to-face what love is and learn from it when you actually become either a victim or the suspect of the “crime of falling in love”. You can never teach yourself unless you get to experience it. LOVE is such a maze you just can’t figure out. But, if we’re talking about God’s love, then it’s one different thing.

God’s love is never a question. It was there in the beginning, in our present and will last beyond our future. Many will doubt its existence but still it burns alive. Though you may be brokenhearted when your boyfriend broke up with you, but God will never leave you. You may run away from Him, but He is always there. He will never be the unforgiving lover that you once had. He will be that perfect Guy who will protect you, despite not seeing His physical presence. Few remain faithful to Him, but He never ceases to shower His love on His people. And that, is one perfect love, nothing can defeat.

So, in our case, in the worldly love we try to hold on to, there are so many conflicts. Are we sure we are with the right person? Does he really love you? Is she contented being with you? Doubts arise when we fail to be contented. When we can’t stop worrying, we start to panic and lose our confidence, not only to the person we love, but to ourselves. It’s never bad to have the benefit of the doubt, but if we push it to grow and grow, we’ll never step away from that stage. Relationships begin to falter when doubt comes in. We are not perfect so we are easily influenced by whatever thoughts swirling in our heads. Even the real definition of love becomes a blur, no one really cares, as long as they carry that piece of information that they are in love.

Before, I was in love with the thought of being in love. I always imagine myself in the arms of someone that I will call my “boyfriend”. Yet, with instances in the past of falling in love with the wrong guy, I realize that I was actually forcing myself to fall, in order to find that “someone” I will love. I never thought that I am pushing myself to a path where there is no more left or right turn. It was an eye-opener for me when I made that reassessment. Now, I am happy even if I am single. I am with good friends. And in time, I will find that LOVE waiting for me, as I wait patiently for it. But, love is actually everywhere, you can feel its warmth from your parents, siblings, best of friends or even from your pet animals. Yet, the love people find is from that person they want to cherish forever.

It’s never wrong to fall in love. It is a part of one’s life. If you have it, grab it and treasure it. If love has not come your way yet, do not force yourself to fall in love. You will never find happiness in that way. I am not your love guru, but one thing is for sure, I am not in love with the mere thought of being in love. I am actually happy now that I am not in love. Why? There are so many things to explore and I can still feel the love in my world. Maybe not from a special someone, but from people who I know will cherish me beyond words can express. And with that, I am blessed.

Getting over him is the hardest thing to do right now.

*written originally in my facebook account*
--

Life has its twists and turns.

And falling in love is an experience you'll never miss.

It hurts when you see the person you fell in love with spend time together with someone else.
I do not mean to be possessive even if he is not mine, but the fact that it happened right in front of you is so DAMN PAINFUL.
I thought being "just friends" with him is enough to settle whatever feelings I have for him but it was not that easy, I realized.
A shocking revelation for me, a hurting process in the end.

Not to be exaggerated, I feel as if my chest suddenly weighed heavier than the usual. like there was this heavy anchor sitting on my heart, slowly denying blood to be pumped in and out for contraction to take place.. and eventually, heart seemed to have compeltely became numb.

The one thing that hurts me the most is that when that someone he prefers to be with has disappeared, he'll come to me, in my company. What am I some kind of a substitute? I do not assume more than that but getting my hopes up is honestly, unconsciously done.

I wish I can gradually get over him.
I hate to admit but I decide to step away from him, from being close to him (since we're becoming good friends). .

God has plans, despite the fact that I am hurting inside..
And I personally need to get stronger, hoping from another heartbreak issue in my life, I will finally learn.
Learn to accept whatever fate has in store for me.
Right now, I am just happy I have good real friends who care, even though that one person I love did not.

*drama queen*
*fever is actually in my system*

it is all about me, babe!

Latest pictures of yours truly. I just want to destress so I edited the pics in Picasa (thanks to my father's laptop). And there you go, a collage of my faces in different angles, I may say? Haha... I'm not being vain, excuse me, I'm not that pretty anyway.. Feel ko lang ilagay sa blog ko. Blog ko 'to, da ba? Hehe..

Isa pa, black-and-white tone ng picture ko nung before going to my cousin's debut. ^_^

EMO @ 5 AM

I just need to re-focus.

I need to prioritize well.

I have to put balance in my life right now.

I'm lost.

I'm sinking.

I need a lifesaver.

*sighs*

camwhores siblings

Few pictures of me and my brother when we went out to SM Molino to celebrate Father's day with our family..

I never knew my brother could be so photogenic? Haha. I just want to share our bonding experience with the mirror. Poor mirrors, victims of our vanity shoot..

--











--
Isn't obvious we love to take pictures? We did enjoy it. Haha.

gimme more, gimme more ...

This is originally written in my multiply blog..

--

"I don't wanna give up, I don't wanna give in ..."

Kasisimula palang ng first sem, bumuhos na ang mga problema..
Di ko na alam paano ibabalanse at sosolusyunan...
Eto na naman ako nag-e-emote..
Pa'no ba naman kasi, hindi ako handa, sumabog na ang bomba sa harapan ko.
Kung totoong bomba pa yun, tiyak, di na ko humihinga ngayon.

Buti nalang may mga kaibigan ako, kung hindi man kayang tumulong, handa namang makiramay sa kamalasang tinatamasa ko ...
Kung di dahil sa mga "cozy people" sa buhay ko, pinanghinaan na ko agad ng loob, first stage pa lang ng problema, sumuko na ko.
At syempre, lam ko namang sinusubukan lang ako ni Bro, sana lang makayanan ko ang hinulog nyang PAGSUBOK sa buhay ko, da ba?
Ako pa naman, iyakin..kaya eto, hapdi na naman mga mata ko, kakaiyak ..

Pagpasensyahan nyo na, outlet ko lang talaga ang pagsusulat at pagiging emotera sa blog.
Kung ayaw nyong basahin, e di wag, (o bakit nagbabasa ka pa din???) ...

I just hope, makaraos ako dito..
Tulad nga ng fave kong kanta ..
"God will make a way, when there seems to be no way ..."

Bro, help me!!!!!!

Lovin' my Summer

So many things happened to me this summer and I didn't even have the time to blog it out. I'll just post some pics to summarize 'em all up.

---


-Area 10 Sportsfest held in AUP Grounds: This is where friendship among the churches of our district bloomed to the highest level..



-We went to Masbate for a clan reunion of Daddy's family side. It was my first time to set foot on this province. We also stayed overnight in Bugtong Island where my Dad was born.



-Straight from Masbate, I went to Bohol but not with my own family, but with my Grandpa's family. I stayed for almost 2 wks there, celebrated Candijay's fiesta and explored the wonders of their beach. It was pure fun!



-District's overnight retreat in Tanza, Cavite: It was a rainy retreat for everyone but it was still fun. Youth got to be closer to one another, at least..Cheers for LCD 1 youth.

---
That's it. Hard to summarize in words, but my summer is filled with so many revelations, unforgettable memories that I will cherish forever. Here are some extra pictures - my own photographic snapshots..






Lovin' it! And I'm even bitten by the Love Bug, haha! =)

falling for someone?

This is originally written in my multiply site.
--



I met this guy.

Actually, I've known him already before, it's just that I finally get to be closer to him just recently.

Right now, he's all in my mind.

My friends can't help but notice my 'crazy-huge' smiles every time I talk about him or whenever I receive text messages from him.

It's true that when one door closes, another opens to new opportunities.

Sad thing is, he's already in a relationship.

And even if I discovered about it, I still like him.

Even if he is younger than me, I like him. My feelings didn't change.

But I know I have to set my own limitations to restrain myself from hurting too much.

I know the feeling of falling in and out of love.

And I hardly learn from what I've gone through before.

I am just letting God work His wonders, whatever He has in store for me, I'll wait.

But if it is this guy, then maybe he'll let him see that I'm just here.

If I'm in love with him, I can't admit yet. I'm on the edge and I don't know what to do.

To move forward or to back up.

But as of now, I'll treasure the friendship we have finally developed from the past days.

And that alone, I am happy. :)

from Yoshke :)

I got this interesting idea from a friend, Yoshke. And this turned out to be hilarious! :)

*google your first name into Google plus the word 'needs' and put in quotes. For example, (your name) needs. It is easy, then just post the 10 results and tag friends who will think this will be fun. I think it's fun, thanks Yoshke!

--

1. Noah needs TO STOP BY MY PLACE AND PICK THE DOGS UP.
- I know I love dogs, but when was I a dog-sitter? Hehe.

2. Noah needs A PERMIT.
- for what? (thinks)

3. Noah needs PRAYERS TODAY.
- I really need 'em. My family needs them.

4. Noah needs YOUR DEMOS.
- Alright, show them to me! Now! :)

5. Noah needs TO MEET MY MAMA.
- My boyfriend's mama? Haha.

6. Noah needs A NEW WEBMASTER AND WEB MAINTENANCE CONTRACTOR.
- wow, bigtime!

7. Noah needs MORE TRAFFIC.
- Oh no, I don't! tsk tsk...

8. Noah needs A BAILOUT.
- not good. hehe...

9. Noah needs TO BUILD ANOTHER ARK.
- I like this one! Give me some time people! Haha.

10. Noah needs MORE ENERGY TO PLAY ROLE.
- somehow, I'm always feeling sleepy lately.